Hey guys the topic of this essay was :There may be personal information that you want considered as part of your admissions application. Write an essay describing that information. You might include exceptional hardships, challenges, or opportunities that have shaped or impacted your abilities or academic credentials, personal responsibilities, exceptional achievements or talents, educational goals, or ways in which you might contribute to an institution committed to creating a diverse learning environment.
Please check my grammar!!!! and any suggestions are appreciated
I fall under the most popular stereotypes associated with least likely to succeed. Statistics say that being a hispanic girl from a low income family living in a neighborhood with a high rate of crimes means that I am destined to never get a college degree and not likely to have a well paying job. As a young girl I chose to never allow these stereotypes to have an impact my life. It was a naive choice because at the time I didn't realize that I didn't create those stereotypes, others did that for me, however, that simple choice did set up my mentality to break every stereotype anyone imposed on me. It mattered so much to me because ultimately, if I could free myself from the restrictions imposed on me, then I could be anything I wanted. Along the way I have developed a love for computers and technology. Creating new things and fixing the old has become a passion that I hope to pursue in college.
My first challenge as a hispanic girl was my language. It's a typical Hispanic problem. My parents didn't know English and therefore I didn't either. Fortunately, it didn't take me long to pick it up. I took bilingual classes, went to summer school every year and by the time I entered third grade, I knew how to speak English fairly well. The late start came at a cost. I never got the basic grammar lessons. Though I could speak well, my English grammar was awful. Unfortunately I was never told until I entered high school. In fifth grade I decided to go to a KIPP school, where I had the opportunity to learn from devoted teachers, travel to many cities, and earn a scholarship to go to St. John's High School, private Houston school. My elementary and middle school had been in low income neighborhoods and most of the students had been hispanic. My grammar and my English had been amazing compared to my peers! In St. John's I entered an entirely new culture. The students, most of whom where white, where all extremely well educated. From the students I learned I had an accent and from the teachers I learned that I had extremely my grammar was a nightmare. Tutorials with teachers and a great deal of vocabulary quizzes improved my English. My writing continues to improve, however I am most proud of being able to change all the horrible habits that I had practiced for years.
My transition to high school was like moving an Oreo cookie from an Oreo bag to a Famous Amos bag. Being the new kid took a toll on my self confidence. After years of being a straight-A student without having to study I had began to take everything for granted. In my mind I could be anything I wanted, so I took on a full schedule, some extracurricular classes and signed up for some Honors courses for my freshmen year. By the first week I received my first C and I went home crying. My biology class had chemistry in it and the students in band all had their own instruments as opposed to the lent ones that we had in middle school. Nothing made sense. Worst of all, I felt like I proving all the stereotypes to be right. I now consider myself extremely fortunate because people reached out and helped me. I was told it was okay to take regular classes and I was even given a flute to play. Most importantly, I learned to stop comparing myself to others.
As senior in high school I can look back at the last 4 years of my life and know that they have been packed with valuable lessons. I focus on pushing myself not because I want to prove others wrong but because I know that if I am well educated then I can truly be anything I want to be. Best of all I am proud to come from a wonderful culture where girls are raised to be strong confident woman. When I am given an opportunity I take full advantage of it and whenever I intern or work at a place where the people are different from me, I have learned to not be scared or intimidated. Instead, I take the opportunity to bring forth my unique perspective and a well as learn from others. Unlike the typical horror stories associated with high school, I'm glad to say that I've enjoy my time at St. John's and hope to learn, grow and get the most out of what Aggieland has to offer.
Statistics say that being a hispanic girl from a low income family living in a neighborhood with a high rate of crimes means that I am destined to never get a college degree and not likely to have a well paying job.
This sentence is too long, therefore its clarity is greatly affected... Break it to few sentences so that it would flow nicely : )
As a young girl I chose to never allow these stereotypes to have an impact my life.
As a young girl, I never allowed those stereotypes to have any impact on my life.It was a naive choice because at the time I didn't realize that I didn't create those stereotypes, others did that for me, however, that simple choice did set up my mentality to break every stereotype anyone imposed on me.
Again.... your sentences are too long dear... You make the reader exhausted by forcing him to memorize so much of stuff ... The reader doesn't like to do all that for you because he looks for easy cuts ... Keep him happy by shortening your sentences : )
