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"chances of me getting into Yale are slim" - Yale Supplemental Essay - Unique


Gabrielle 6 / 24  
Aug 24, 2009   #1
I feel the need to write a disclaimer on this essay before you read it.
Basically, in my eyes, the chances of me getting into Yale are slim to none. Though I have solid grades and SAT scores and whatnot, it's just so competetive that I doubt I really have a chance.

So, when I wrote this essay I was thinking to myself "If I'm not going to get into Yale, I want to at least leave Admissions with an essay they'll remember."

It's goofy, quirky, but I'm trying to prove at point on how I'm 'different' than other applicants.
I guess I'm expecting harsh criticism due to the fact that it's not a 'serious' essay (though I do plan on submitting it), but just understand that I didn't want to send them an essay they are used to getting.Yale asked to know things about me that they haven't already learned about me in my application, so here it is.

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editing in progress.
will post back up in a bit.
Liebe 1 / 542 2  
Aug 24, 2009   #2
Well, it kind of seems as if you are trying a bit too hard to make an essay that Yale's Office of Undergraduate Admission. Other people will also try this card. Therefore, it gets boring and more forgettable rather than memorable.

hey are most likely telling you about the time they saved their dog from being hit by a train traveling at 100 miles per hour, or how they invented pants that automatically wash themselves.

^They probably are not.

However, I can make you laugh so hard you won't be able to stop smiling for a week. In fact, I can make you laugh so hard you just might need someone to invent those self-washing pants for you. If that's not enough to sway you, I'm always willing to lend a helping hand. Whether you need someone to finish off that sandwich for you, or add to your load of laundry, I got your back.

^I doubt you are that funny. I apparently am a funny guy. I have seen people laugh for minutes, but never an hour. So smiling for weeks is just such a ridiculous hyperbole.

Also, eating people's leftovers or doing their house hold chores does not mean you are lending a helping hand. You are basically degrading yourself.

I am probably the most persevered person you'll ever meet

^Please.

Though I have solid grades and SAT scores and whatnot, it's just so competetive that I doubt I really have a chance.

^What are your SAT scores like?
EF_Simone 2 / 1,986  
Aug 24, 2009   #3
Hmmm... I can't see the piece. In future, don't remove an essay until you post the replacement. But I do want to encourage you not to start with an assumption of failure. Undoubtedly that will creep between the lines into the essay somehow. Set your mind on writing something that shows why Yale ought to accept you. What do you bring that other students with comparable SATs and whatnot don't bring?
Liebe 1 / 542 2  
Aug 25, 2009   #4
What do you bring that other students with comparable SATs and whatnot don't bring?

^Apparently, Gabrielle has an amazing sense of humor. So Gabrielle, if you can modestly talk about that, then go for it. By modesty, I am also referring to not using hyperbolic statements on how funny you are, because such exaggerations tend to be the exact opposite of what humor is all about; they become lame to the point that readers have to cringe and perhaps even bite their lip in agony over having read something that is so obviously fake and not funny.
EF_Sean 6 / 3,491  
Aug 25, 2009   #5
If you want an approach that stands out, write about something that means a lot to you, even if it doesn't necessarily tie in to the application process the way such essays normally would. Since it is a supplemental essay, you can hope to get away with this, and if you infuse enough passion and humor into your writing, the essay will end up saying something good about you anyway, even if it isn't explicitly about you.

That said, if you have good grades and high SAT scores, I see no reason why you shouldn't take a more standard approach, and sell yourself for all you're worth. After all, why would you assume that you wouldn't get in? What possible benefit do you gain from such an assumption?
Beautifulnights 1 / 14  
Aug 30, 2009   #6
Well, since its the supplement, I think you can afford to go a little quirky...but I agree that the way you describe how funny you are may be a turn-off for the admission committee. Maybe try to tone the quirkiness down a little bit?


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