Well, it kind of seems as if you are trying a bit too hard to make an essay that Yale's Office of Undergraduate Admission. Other people will also try this card. Therefore, it gets boring and more forgettable rather than memorable.
hey are most likely telling you about the time they saved their dog from being hit by a train traveling at 100 miles per hour, or how they invented pants that automatically wash themselves.
^They probably are not.
However, I can make you laugh so hard you won't be able to stop smiling for a week. In fact, I can make you laugh so hard you just might need someone to invent those self-washing pants for you. If that's not enough to sway you, I'm always willing to lend a helping hand. Whether you need someone to finish off that sandwich for you, or add to your load of laundry, I got your back.
^I doubt you are that funny. I apparently am a funny guy. I have seen people laugh for minutes, but never an hour. So smiling for weeks is just such a ridiculous hyperbole.
Also, eating people's leftovers or doing their house hold chores does not mean you are lending a helping hand. You are basically degrading yourself.
I am probably the most persevered person you'll ever meet
Though I have solid grades and SAT scores and whatnot, it's just so competetive that I doubt I really have a chance.
^What are your SAT scores like?