relatively short (250words)
prompt:
Johns Hopkins offers 50 majors across the schools of Arts and Sciences and Engineering. On this application, we ask you to identify one or two that you might like to pursue here. Why did you choose the way you did? If you are undecided, why didn't you choose? (If any past courses or academic experience influenced your decision, you may include them in your essay.)-------------------------------
"Change is good for you," my mom used to say all the time, "it builds character." Every time we stuffed our lifetime belongings into brown boxes and left behind our memories of our house, those words consoled me. My family moved three times, ranging from flying from Korea to Pennsylvania, then finally to St. Louis. At first, I was devastated, crying for weeks, and even hiding our passports. I was being accustomed to being treated like an animal in a cage at a zoo: the curious stares and the mindless pointing. However, the first-hands-on experiences of solitude and alienation allowed me to connect to other students who were struggling with family crisis or peer pressure. Without realizing, I was having one-to-one sessions with "patients." I gave them advice on how to overcome loneliness or how to make better, suitable friends. Seeing my unofficial patients thrive socially and my "appointment list" lengthen daily, I determined that this was my calling. I desired to transform on my "side job" into a real career and professionally share my expertise. I would love to major in Biology, with an emphasis on psychiatry because it is not only my passion, but also my strong point. As a victim of an unstable family environment and constant distancing in school, I was able to provide my friends with appropriate and pragmatic solutions, rather than just a friendly pat on the back or meaningless words of encouragements. Besides, who knows better than the ones with experience?
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any errors/criticisms/comments are appreciated
Hey Oleh,
Once again I am gonna have to agree with the comments above me. The corrections previously mentioned are the only things I would change, although I am questioning if the word "that" in the first sentence is actually neccessary. I like it better without "that" but change "used to say" to "tell me" as suggested.
This is a really good essay. The motivation for your choice of biology is something completely refreshing and unique, to me at least. I truly felt your struggles and more importantly your calling as a biologist/psychologist.
Also, thank you very much for your comment on my essay. Good luck to you on your application process, but with esssays like this, I think you will be fine.
-Andrew
