First off, thank you for takign the time to help me with editing my paper! This is my first draft and I am in need of some serious revision! Feel free to edit whatever and give me any feedback you have.
If you can, please let me know if it answers the question...Can you get a sense of what type of person I am?
Thank you!!
Beyond your impressive academic credentials and extracurricular accomplishments, what else makes you unique and colorful? We know that nobody fits neatly into 500 words or less, but you can provide us with some suggestion of the type of person you are. Anything goes! Inspire us, impress us, or just make us laugh. Think of this optional opportunity as show and tell by proxy and with an attitude, but please restrict your submission to what will fit on one sheet of paper
When I first read the prompt, I thought to myself "this is going to be a piece of cake". Now I've realized that I have spent over 3 hours rewriting this essay into what I want it to be like, and it took me that long to understand that there is no right or wrong in writing this supplement. There is no analyzing extensive and painful information about why the Civil War began; there isn't any need to evaluate why the author chose to make the curtains blue; and there is definitely no reason to throw in the classic 5 paragraph format that everyone dreads; this is what I want it to be. Adding in long and complex words won't win me any points nor will adding a quote that I had randomly found on Tumblr. I don't need to worry about being graded over how "true" my writing is, because anything is true in here! Although, it is a bit scary to be going away from what I have always been taught in school, but as many would say change is good.
Given this newly found freedom makes me feel a bit powerful, I may add. I could write about nearly anything, from my deep love for teen idol sensation, Justin Bieber, to the time I first tried octopus and nearly threw it up right in front of me. Okay, maybe you don't want to hear that story, but my point is, I've never had this much control or say in the papers I write. Apart from being a positive and cheerful person, I never liked to try new things; it just scared the gibbers out of me. I would always fear "what if this happened" or "what if that happened". I never liked change. But as a New Year approaches, I have realized that it's time to change my attitude, and it's strange how it took a college essay to understand what I have been missing. It's time to throw away some old rule books, and start taking risks in more things in life.
So I want to personally thank you, my dear admissions officer, for taking the time to read my journey in discovering that life isn't always about following the rules. Sometimes you just have to take a chance and who knows, it could be the best thing that had happened to you since the new Justin Bieber single came out. If William and Mary could teach me this much solely though their prompt, I can't imagine the type of valuable things I would learn going there.
I don't know... I'd get someone else's feedback, but I feel like it won't help you to write about how difficult writing your essay was, and even though I get the impression that you're introspective, reflective, a Belieber and an octopus-hater, your struggle/epiphany doesn't make you stand out as unique or colorful.
Beyond your impressive academic credentials and extracurricular accomplishments, what else makes you unique and colorful? We know that nobody fits neatly into 500 words or less, but you can provide us with some suggestion of the type of person you are. Anything goes! Inspire us, impress us, or just make us laugh. Think of this optional opportunity as show and tell by proxy and with an attitude, but please restrict your submission to what will fit on one sheet of paper
I thought to myself "this is going to be a piece of cake".
"this is going to be a piece of cake
." Always put periods inside quotations.
I could write about nearly anything
Awkward wording. Try "almost" instead
As Didgeridoo said, I don't think you should write about how difficult it was to write the essay. I learned what you like, but I didn't learn your character. Focus on presenting yourself more than things you like/dislike.
Please leave a like? I'm trying to delete my posts(:
I liked everything except the beginning. It was almost a bit TOO honest, yknow.
Apart from being a positive and cheerful person, I never liked to try new things; it just scared the gibbers out of me. I would always fear "what if this happened" or "what if that happened". I never liked change. But as a New Year approaches, I have realized that it's time to change my attitude, and it's strange how it took a college essay to understand what I have been missing. It's time to throw away some old rule books, and start taking risks in more things in life.
Don't outright state you don't like to try new things - universities like adaptable and risk taking students.
Saying something along the lines of, I've always been hesitant to try new things in fear of the many 'what if' situations. However, as he new year approaches ...
Other than that, it sounds good.
Please check my essays out?
