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"Be the change you want to see in this world" ; Why APU?


peacefulwarrior 2 / 8  
Feb 15, 2014   #1
"Be the change you want to see in this world" once said Mahatma Gandhi.
Under the effect of this motivation, I have achieved many goals of mine and my next ambition is to be an excellent accountant who can contribute to the development of this modern world. To manage this, entering and graduating Ritsumeikan Asia Pacific University is the main path I should go along. Actually, I have lots of other answers to the question "why APU?". For example, first and foremost reason is that I am really interested in Japanese culture and language since its culture is typical and is hard to find in other countries. Japanese tradition has also attracted me since I watched several documentary films about its people and tradition. After watching such films, I was astonished how well Japanese people have saved their tradition for many centuries and since then I have a dream to visit and stay in Japan in order to socialize with local residents and broaden my cultural knowledge. I believe that APU can create an opportunity for me to succeed my goal.

Secondly, before choosing APU, I have searched enough universities to come to the conclusion that Ritsumeikan Asia Pacific University is the best option for students who want to work in prestigious companies and be a great person. And there are a number of reasons for that. For instance APU has high reputation both in home country and among international students since its most graduates are gaining employment upon graduation. Next reason why I am going to apply for this university is that APU has a multicultural environment which is very beneficial for students in their future career in this internationalizing world. Such mixture of languages and the mingling of different cultures make students more flexible to adopt to a new conditions in their future workplace. Additionally, I am going to apply for this university not only for its reputation of its multicultural studying but also for its great facilities which include tuition reduction scholarships.
dumi 1 / 6,925 1592  
Feb 15, 2014   #2
Under the effect of this motivation, I have achieved many goals of mine and my next ambition is to be an excellent accountant who can contribute to the development of this modern world.

Before saying this, it is better to connect the quote with your ambition. Tell them what change you wish to see in this world and how you are preparing yourself to see that's happening.

To manageachieve this goal , entering and graduating Ritsumeikan Asia Pacific University is the main path I should go along best place I should be.

Actually, I have lots of other answers to the question "why APU?".

... this sentence is disturbing your flow. You don't have to mention this, but keep telling them why APU in a logical order. This sounds verbose :(
Faith318 1 / 7 1  
Mar 14, 2014   #4
For example, first and foremost reason is that I am

You do not need to say both, for example, and first and foremost. Pick one or the other. Example: For example, one reason that I am... Or: The first and foremost reason that I am... You do not need the word is.

Actually, I have lots of other answers to the question "why APU?".

I agree with Dumi, this sentence is unnecessary and distracting.
Over all, it is a well written essay.


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