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I want to change the world! SOP Transfer Essay


cctxkid 1 / -  
Aug 25, 2015   #1
Here is my essay. Please be as critical as possible as any feedback will be well taken. Thank you in advance.

Mirabeau Buonaparte Lamar, the second elected president of The Republic of Texas, once stated "A cultivated mind is the guardian genius of democracy." In order for our democratic republic to function effectively, it must consist of an educated citizenry, erudite in our past. A successful teacher inspires their students to become independent thinkers and motivates them to achieve their maximum potential. In assisting students to learn and comprehend how our current society has evolved by decisions made in our past, I hope to promote the attainment of the skills necessary to keep our democratic republic workable and free.

My inspiration to pursue a career in education and history was ignited during my sophomore year of high school. Mrs. Jones, my World History teacher, was a University of Texas graduate and was very passionate about history. Her innate passion for the subject was visible through all her classroom endeavors and she credits UT for kindling that passion. In addition to becoming a history teacher, it is my goal to teach another important skill that will help students become critical thinkers and better citizens; debate. I was an avid debater in high school and saw first-hand how beneficial the skills developed through debate correlated to life. In preparing students to become better citizens through studying the past, I hope that debate will promote the much needed critical and analytical skills to make well informed decisions.

Earning a Bachelor's degree in History from The University of Texas would be the first step in achieving my goals of being a history teacher and debate coach. I'm drawn to the History program at UT for a plethora of reasons. I am very passionate about American History and the work produced by UT Professor Dr. H.W Brands draws me to the program. In his book entitled "The First American: The Life and Times of Benjamin Franklin" Dr. Brands paints a picture of Benjamin Franklin so vivid it's as if Professor Brands knew Franklin personally. Professor Brands' book gives a tour of the revolutionary genius life and even asserts that it was Franklin that took the first steps in creating our exceptional country. Furthermore, Dr. Brand's publication of American History in haiku format on Twitter provides me with further affirmation that history is what I want to study and The University of Texas is where I want to learn. In addition to the great History department, the Forensics department at UT is one of the premier college debate programs in the nation. It is my hope that I can debate for the program to not only improve on the debate skills I acquired in high school but to learn more about the art of debate and share those experiences with my future students.

Upon completion of my Bachelor's degree I wish to return to my home of Corpus Christi and teach in the city's West Side of town and help students who come from economically disadvantage backgrounds attain a college education and become well informed citizens. Currently, I serve as an assistant debate coach at a local middle school where I have gained first hand classroom experience in teaching debate and working with students. This experience has been instrumental in helping develop my professional goals and affirm to me that working in a classroom is what I am meant to do. In addition to working as a debate coach, I have enrolled in Communication and Theater classes at my current University to continue my knowledge of Forensic and carry over what I've learned to the students I currently work with.

Gaining admittance to the University of Texas and its History program is the next step to attaining the goals I have set for myself. What starts at the University of Texas changes the world and I intend to utilize the education acquired at the University to transform students' lives for the betterment of society and make the world a better place.
justivy03 - / 2,366 607  
Aug 26, 2015   #2
- ...I hope to promote the attainment of the skills necessary to...
- ...education and history was ignited during my sophomore year of high school.
- and analytical skills to make well informed decisionsdiscussion .
- Upon completion of my Bachelor's degree I wish to return to my home ofto Corpus Christi and..
- ...instrumental in helping me develop my professional goals...
- ...and affirm to mean affirmation that working in a classroom
- ...I intendwillto utilize the education acquired at the University..
-...to transform students'"students" can stand alone without the punctuation mark) lives for
- the bettermentthe greater good of the society and make the world a better place.

@cct, I believe you have a strong essay. I made a few corrections and I hope it helps.


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