Right now this essay is 2,278 characters, and I need to get it down to 2,000. Any suggestions for cutting it down are really appreciated!
Stanford students possess an intellectual vitality. Reflect on an idea or experience that has been important to your intellectual development.
As a student, I have spent all of my life except the past two years at private schools. Before going to the public high school I currently attend, I attended a small k-12 private boarding school of about 200 students in Oregon that was known for it's unique culture and rigorous curriculum. Instead of traditional lecture-style classes, students studied independently, at their own pace and with little teacher oversight. The curriculum's focus was primarily on a mastery of all subjects and application of them. Students were required to achieve 100% on all tests and apply what they learned through projects and activities. But after years in this intellectual environment, I found out I had to change schools from private to public. As a result, I had to learn to adjust to lecture-style classrooms, seven subjects a day and the possibility that I might never apply what I learned. I found this environment exciting, fast-paced, but hard. Noticing that students heavily depend on teachers' lectures and explanations rather than textbooks, I also realized that I had something that my fellow students did not have: the ability to comprehend written materials at a much higher level without teacher guidance. Because of this and the earlier mastery of my basics, I found myself helping and tutoring other students in a variety of subjects. This gave me confidence that I could successfully study and learn in two different, but beneficial ways. Though the culture of my old school taught me to be independent and learn with complete comprehension of materials, the culture at my public school taught me to learn through discussion and debate with my peers.
Changing schools taught me that students who primarily rely on lectures and explanations to learn and students who learn strictly from books and materials do not have the complete picture that they could have if both ways of learning were combined. Perhaps this explains why many high school graduates leave school without a good basic education. Regardless, the balance of private schools and public schools in my life has helped mold me into the able and strong person I am today. I can now learn in both a lecture-style environment as well as on my own with just books and text on hand. Not many students can say that.
I believe instead of using the word unique "culture" you should say unique " practices", culture is slightly off in connotation in my opinion.
"The curriculum's focus was primarily on a mastery of all subjects and application of them." This sentence is redundant and says the same as the next one.
"Perhaps this explains why many high school graduates leave school without a good basic education." This sentence is unnecessary and doesn't add any relevant meaning to your essay. You are writing about how an experience changed your intellectual development, you are not writing a treatise on the state of education in public schools.
I attended a small k-12 private boarding school of about 200 students in Oregon that was known for it's unique culture and rigorous curriculum.
Instead of traditional lecture-style classes, students studied independently,at their own pace and with little teacher oversight.
But after years in this intellectual environment, I found out I had to change schools from private to public.
Chance to, "Years later I had to switch to public school."
As a result, I had to learn to adjust to lecture-style classrooms, seven subjects a day and the possibility that I might never apply what I learned.
I would write, "Consequently, I had to adjust to seven lecture-style classes a day "Omit the "And the possibility that I might never apply what I learned" In my opinion, that is a very broad reaching and pretentious comment about the state of never applying learned material in an average high school ( Although I agree :)). You don't want to step on anyone's toes in the admissions office.
I love the idea of this essay personally. Consider my revisions and tell me where it gets you afterward.
Good Luck
I attended a small k-12 private boarding school of about 200 students in Oregon that IS known for it' s unique culture and rigorous curriculum.
but DIFFICULT.
Changing schools taught me that students who primarily rely on lectures and explanations to learn and students who learn strictly from books and materials do not have the complete picture that they could have if both ways of learning were combined.
^awkward long sentence.
I liked your essay. Shows the contrast between two learning environments and how they both helped you.
Help me out? : )
@garmeth
Dude you helped me out a lot. I'm under 2000 characters and incorporated most of what you said. Thank you.
@mayflower
Thanks for the critique!
