Chapman essay, the communication program

the 250 word minimum prompt:

addresses your reasons for transferring and the objectives you hope to achieve.

After ten years a framed piece of paper that reads, "Goals in life" still lays on my wall. While places I hope to visit and things I want to see cover the list, graduating college has always been at the top. I have struggled with school throughout my life although growing up with a mom who didn't get the opportunity to go to college, and having to see my dad dread going to work everyday because he isn't doing something he loves, gives me the motivation and hope to graduate college from Chapman University. I have hopes and dreams and with Chapman University and my determination I know that my goals are not far in reach. After saving money at a community college for a year, I have realized a smaller campus size and a more one on one connection with my teachers is necessary in order for me to succeed in school. While having a 30 hour/week job and working hard in school this year it has given me the determination and confidence to apply as a transfer to Chapman University. While browsing other schools and noticing the astonishing number of students enrolled in a class, I have realized a smaller, and closer connected school is more appropriate for me. If admitted into the school, I hope to take advantage of the communication major Chapman offers and I hope to gain skills that will prepare me for my dream career in Public Relations and Brand management. I am confident in what I want to do after school and the proximity of Chapman to a large city is an appealing aspect of the campus. My goal is to have a job in my area of study shortly after graduating and I feel chapman can help me realize that goal. I also hope to take benefit of the groups, clubs, and programs Chapman University offers within the major. Apart from researching the beautiful campus, I have studied closely at the communication program offered and I have only noticed keen attributes convincing me this is the school for me.

Maybe instead of struggled, you could say persisted...

Would you say my essay has too many unnecessary parts or does it cover enough of each area? I appreciate your input.

Capitalize Life as part of the title of the paper.

I don't think graduating college should be on the list. I think it should be an obvious requirement as a stepping stone toward the actual items on your list. The list should have things like, "Revolutionize the practice of brand management by changing the role of social responsibility," or some other interesting, specific goal associated with your chosen field. Don't just say "graduate college." You can aim higher than that. Make it so that the goal is more meaningful than just graduation. Maybe graduation is just a step along the way to achieving your goals, and maybe after graduation you will immediately be interested in working on a masters thesis.

More importantly: use paragraphs! Do a paragraph break whenever you finish explaining one of the ideas of the essay. This essay can have about 3 paragraphs.

:-)