"The Chemistry of Baking" -Common App Prompt #5

I was wondering if I can get some commentary on my college entrance essay! Thanks!

5. Discuss an accomplishment, event, or realization that sparked a period of personal growth and a new understanding of yourself or others

The wonderful science of baking

Ding! Finally, the time has arrived. The aroma has been teasing my senses for the past ten minutes. My experiment is about complete. Moving about my laboratory space, I pace myself through each step hoping not to make the same mistake made many times before. Time is of the essence; one slight oversight or delay will diminish all of my hard work. With the greatest of ease, I extract the concoction mixed with glucose, hydrocarbons, and sodium chloride from the extreme heat. With a wipe of my brow, I remove the sweat while standing in my 400-square foot crucible.

​The wonderful science of baking has transformed me from a novice to a skilled alchemist. As early as I can remember, I have been fascinated in the beauty of creating the most tasteful delicacies. Dressed in customary flour-stained clothes and oven mitts, I begin by gathering my tools and ingredients. I carefully test the moisture, viscosity, and salinity of my blend to ensure optimum gratification of the taste buds. I must admit there have been many failures, but these mishaps were crucial in the process of honing my craft. While replacing sugar with salt, not setting the timer, or over-estimating measurements can result in catastrophes, an occasional deviation from the recipe can cultivate a refined masterpiece. Numerous times I have had to resort to unconventional alternatives after discovering I was lacking an ingredient. Who knew that black bean brownies, chocolate-covered bacon, and goat-milk fudge are not only surprisingly edible, but also mouthwateringly delicious?

​Beyond serving as the birthplace of my sugar-filled creations, the kitchen has fused my interests in chemistry, business, and cooking. To truly master and appreciate the craft of baking, one must be duly versed in the principles of intermolecular forces and catalyzed reactions; each recipe is an intricate chemical formula. Each time I concoct a new cookie recipe, I am performing the scientific method: I am making an assumption, testing the theory, and forming a conclusion based upon the consistency and taste of my product. Through tedious trial and error, I hypothesized that the ultimate, chewy chocolate chip cookie necessitates equal proportions of brown and granulated sugar, a chilling period, and 10 minute round in the oven at 375 degrees Fahrenheit. Furthermore, one must also act as an entrepreneur and capitalize on the palates of the target demographic. I manufacture my innovations to satiate the appetites of sweet-tooths, health-nuts, chocoholics, and even vegans. My baking addiction has transformed into a streamlined production system aided by mixing bowls, measuring cups, sifters. As CEO, founder, and head kingpin of my summertime cake-decorating business, "Top That Candy Cakes", I carefully mapped out my revenue streams, expenses, and advertising plans. I will always remember how I toiled days on end decorating that ridiculous triple-layer red velvet cake with every candy imaginable, only to drop the cake hours before delivery. Though facing disappointment at times like these, nothing beats a satisfied customer. While many crave my confections, I crave the euphoric expression stretched across their face after indulging in the first bite.

​When I am in my crucible, I am in my own world: I metamorphose into a mad scientist, chef, and entrepreneur. In this domain, precision and creativity must achieve dynamic equilibrium as I follow strict procedure and experiment with new flavors. For years, the kitchen has provided a surprising therapeutic outlet, a time for reflection and ephemeral escape from a parental divorce, poor test grade, or bumpy friendship. I learned that sometimes life can seem like a series of burnt edges and collapsed cake, but sweetness emerges in unexpected ways. Some recipes serve as a form of history, reuniting me with those who led me to the kitchen. The swirling aromas of apple and cinnamon bring me back to the time when great grandma Dorothy held my hand, graciously instructing me through my first strudel. This was the spark that ignited my hunger for scientific innovation and my understanding of the human senses. I have been lucky to stumble upon an unlikely abode that caters to my passions. I now digest that this realm, my CEO headquarters, chemical laboratory, and culinary workshop, has also been a sanctuary for my growth.

Sophie, this essay does not respond to the prompt requirement. You are describing an activity that you enjoy doing which has allowed you to have a skills oriented realization. It does not deliver a new found understanding about yourself or those around you. Actually, it would be better if you could relate an event that shows an understanding of yourself in relation to your association with others in this instance. The reviewer is looking for a sense of maturity or a realization regarding the need for some sort of responsibility for yourself or your actions in accordance with your personal choices or treatment of others. This essay does not portray any personal character growth on your end. So this is not the essay that you should use for this prompt. Try to look for a moment in your life when you had a sense of self realization and describe the events and result of that event as it impacts your personal traits instead.

@Holt
Thank you for your advice on my essay. Rather than reworking my entire essay, would it make sense to use this prompt instead?:

Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story

@srubin18
Your work is quite interesting and very captivating. Great job.
However, as @Holt rightly pointed out, you might have failed to define key expressions like: accomplishment, events in relation to your growth. A little tweak here and there should do the job.