Hey, please do me a favor and tell me if the stories are too naive and not holding together.
[b]We know that nobody fits neatly into 500 words or less, but you can provide us with some suggestion of The Type of Person You Are. Anything goes! Inspire us, impress us or just make us laugh. Think of this optional opportunity as Show and Tell by proxy and with an attitude.
Under the big banyan tree in our courtyard, there was a chess-board engraved on a stone table where I played chess with childhood friends after school. The chess time lasted for three years until one day Shi didn't show up. Bing and I waited till dusk when Shi turned up only to tell us that he was leaving with his parents to another city. We decided to make a Kongming Lanter together and set it off. We each made a wish as the lantern rising up in the sky. Ascended was the lantern, together with our promise to maintain our passion in chess playing.
Throughout my school years, my childhood promise had given much drive to achieve many things, including the building of a school chess club. When it first laid its corner stone, the chess club rarely had any members. After a campus survey to learn that many students were interested, I initiated a series of advertising events to boost the club's popularity. Soon, a dozen of new comers were recruited. After two months' training, each of them had a taste of achievement. To help the club to grow, we sought sponsorship and organized a Top Four High School Chess Competition. Now, our club has grown up to a robust student society with the highest student participation.
Beside valuing promises, I have always learnt from life's lessons. When I was taking the last train back to my hotel in Singapore. An old lady stopped me and asked for two dollars to buy a ride home. Her worn-out clothes prompted me to feel unkind to refuse her request at that hour. After I handed over the coins, the lady turned to another waiting person and delivered the same line. She never bought the ticket. I was sleepless that night, feeling that I had been used and my compassion exploited. In the second half of my sleepless night, I had asked myself a question: would I allow my natural compassion to be undermined by the uncertainty of how it would be recieved? Being a chess player for years, I was indeed frustrated by my inability to foresee what was coming next. But are kindness and charity about fulfilling one's expectations? I came to understand that what I do for others out of kindness is one thing and what others do with that generosity is another. That seemed to me what genuine charity was about.
When I returned to my city, having forgotten about the episode in Singapore, I came across a middle-aged man who asked for two Yuan to catch a bus home. I was first shocked and puzzled: the memory from less than 24 hours ago returned, fresh and vivid. I took out the two Yuan and bought him the ticket with a smile. In that afternoon at the bus stop, I acted out my personal theory. I helped a person, in a totally selfless way.
A brilliant essay I must say. I loved it how you integrated the ideas of chess with the idea of charity. A solid essay from the start to the end.
A few pointers:
' my childhood promise had given me much drive' sounds a bit awkward. You might want to change that
Also the sentence "Beside valuing promises, I have always learned from life's lessons" doesn't seem right. And it learned not 'learnt' by the way.
The word Lantern has no n at the end!
Her worn-out clothes prompted me to feel unkind to refuse her ... this is unclear. I think you should do it like this:
Her worn-out clothes caused me to feel compassion, and I was compelled to accommodate her request...
This essay needs an introduction. You can make the paragraph about chess and the promise BECOME an introduction if you add a thesis statement at the end that will express the main idea about what kind of person you are. Your thesis statement should discuss both promises and selflessness.
:-) great job!! I read in a book called Zen Philosophy, Zen Practice that giving without thought of reward is called "God giving." I also read about a "deed of no merit" being a deed of infinite merit. I think you will like that if you google about it. Google: "deed of no merit" infinite
