These are my two supplement essays for the University of Chicago. I don't feel quite right about them. Any insight or corrections on them would be very helpful and i would be eternally grateful. Please don"t be afraid to hurt my feelings. I think i can take it...:/
Question 2. Would you please tell us about a few of your favorite books, poems, authors, films, plays, pieces of music, musicians, performers, paintings, artists, magazines, or newspapers? Feel free to touch on one, some, or all of the categories listed, or add a category of your own.
Books; they are to my mind what ecstasy is to the body. I love to sit next to Hari Seldon as he works on Psychohistory, to stand out on the moors with Heathcliff or to play against Harry Potter in a Quidditch match. Since I was little, I have never been able to refuse any book; be it a textbook on the migration of man or an illustrated storybook on the Titanic, I keep them all. Isaac Asimov, Hari Seldon's creator, is a god amongst science fiction writers. His Foundation novels are by far some of my favorite to read; it seems that they can always lead me down an unexpected path. My favorite books are the ones that make a sudden twist and in turn can blow my mind. Take the Once and Future King for example. T.H. White almost completely changed the story of Arthur and made it completely riveting. I found it absolutely intriguing how Merlin lived his life in reverse; I still cannot completely wrap my mind around the concept. Needless to say, my parents no longer allow me to go to book stores because I usually end up buying half of their supply.
I read books because they are my way of learning. They let me experience and recognize others points of view and thoughts. Without my passion for reading, I do not think I would be the same person I am now.
Question 1. How does the University of Chicago, as you know it now, satisfy your desire for a particular kind of learning, community, and future? Please address with some specificity your own wishes and how they relate to Chicago.
As I know the University of Chicago now, I believe that it was made for me. I had gone for months without knowing this school existed, then one day it smacked in the face for overlooking it. My stomach suddenly filled with one too many butterflies and I knew that this is where I wanted to spend the next four, if not more, years of my education. Not only is it located in one of the best cities (a close second to Saint Paul of course) but it offers a superior business program and exquisite alternative majors, if the first does not play through swimmingly. Other schools that I have looked at only offer one or another of my interests. On top of that, I plan to study abroad, more than likely in Paris, and to my joy the University of Chicago does indeed offer that option.
Community and family has always been a huge factor in my life. When I saw that the University of Chicago had house systems, not only was I thrilled because there would be a community like factor, but also because who wouldn't love to live in a situation that was rather reminiscent of Hogwarts houses.
The alumni that flow from this establishment are so very remarkable. From Donald Johansen to Edwin Hubble to football great Jay Berwanger. I want to be one of the greats; I want to be something more than what my life prescribes me to be. It is my belief that I have found the right place at the University of Chicago to do so and it would be the perfect catalyst in my journey.
Again, ANY help would be awesome. Thanks in advance!
hmm. you're right. i know that they try to help interest business students along even though they do not have a major for it. should i make it to say 'but its graduate school offers a superior business program and it has exquisite alternative majors'? i really don't know if it matters at all, but just to suggest i would go to the business school after i complete my undergraduate studies. or would that make it sound like the graduate school has alternative majors?
please? i am so desperate for help!
As for your favorite books:
I'm not really sure if they want lists or an in-depth coverage of one category like you have done. What you have wrote reads great though.
And for "Why Chicago?"
In general, I think you need to do a little bit more research. There's not too much time left, but at least find the program you love about UofC.
It flows nicely, not too many grammatical errors.
As I know the University of Chicago now, I believe that it was made for me.
As I know the University of Chicago now, I believe that the University of Chicago was made for me.
The "it" seemed to read a bit weird.
OR you could just go without that first sentence and just use:
I had gone for months without knowing the University of Chicago existed...
then one day it smacked in the face for overlooking it.
then one day it smacked in the face for overlooking it .
a little redundant i think. considering you already have the first part of this sentence.
My stomach suddenly filled with one too many butterflies and I knew that this is where I wanted to spend the next four, if not more, years of my education.
you really made up your mind just like that? maybe you are really interested in UofC, but perhaps this bold statement should go after a little support. they do like "deep thinkers".
Not only is it located in one of the best cities (a close second to Saint Paul of course)
Not only is it located in Chicago (a close second to Saint Paul of course)
not necessary. perhaps tell them about Chicago's opportunities for business
but it offers a superior business program and exquisite alternative majors, if the first does not play through swimmingly.
They DO HAVE A world-class ECONOMICS program. Maybe thats what you're really interested in.
Other schools that I have looked at only offer one or another of my interests. On top of that, I plan to study abroad, more than likely in Paris, and to my joy the University of Chicago does indeed offer that option.
Be more specific. List their study abroad program if you can find it. Maybe explain what you want to study abroad in?
Community and family has always been a huge factor in my life...
Delete "family". what's after it doesn't match.
When I saw that the University of Chicago had house systems, not only was I thrilled because there would be a community like factor, but also because who wouldn't love to live in a situation that was rather reminiscent of Hogwarts houses.
I'm just a little worried about the harry potter relation. Maybe its a bit trite (overused). I would just check out a particular house, and maybe tell about some house events, and say that you would like to be a part of them. Select these carefully, they may tell the reader a little about you!
I have found the right place at the University of Chicago to do so and it would be the perfect catalyst in my journey.
I have found the right place at the University of Chicago to do so and it would be the perfect catalyst for my journey.
It reads nicely. I like how you address the alumni. However, I would also talk more about your own goals and values, instead of the vague "greatness". Then relate what Exactly at UofChicago will help you attain these goals.
and in turn blow my mind.
Needless to say, my parents no longer allow me to go to book stores because I usually end up buying half of their supply.
Supply?? money?
why say "Needless to say" when it is needless to say...ironic huh...
can u check mine for cornell?
(skyworthy)
