Hey guys! Well here's the "final" draft of my essay "Where's Waldo?
Hope you like it, if it has mistakes please let me know, any suggestion will be accepted.
Everyone since we where kids or at some point in our lives we've searched for Waldo in the books, hidden somewhere in a glance but we're so busy searching for him that we don't notice the small details that are important to find him. Nor we have wondered why is he hiding? Why does he want to be found? Or if he hides something? But the question is not why if not where and what do we need from him?
For me, Waldo is hidden in each of us, sometimes can be an ideal that is at first glance but we focus in other things without seeing beyond, without realizing that is in front of us. Waldo can take the shape of our fears and virtues, of those stuck dreams because we were afraid to fail, lurk within us and we're unable to find him. Waldo is those triumphs and failures that we show off or hide, but in the end make us who we are. For each person Waldo can acquire different meanings depending on the circumstances. Everyone is Waldo.
For me Waldo is the inner strength, the desire to fight for your dreams, to never give up, your goals and hopes, it's passion and compromise, to defend your ideas, the fear of failure, our mistakes and learned lessons. But, why do we need to find him? The answer varies from person to person.
We need to find him because is hiding something that we need, from perseverance and tenacity until our fears; he has "that" what we need to achieve what we want, and he has the answers to our concerns, this is why we seek for Waldo, that's why we don't find him so easily.
You write good! Interesting topic. My one advice would for you would be change the "For me" in the beggining of one your paragraphs
Thanks :) I already change it.
Also thank you for saying I write good, it took me a lot of time, essays are not my thing.
GREAT ESSAY.
But i think there is a big logical error everyone failed to see in this essay
After reading the essay, i found out that waldo is just a concept in all of us. So WHY USE "HE". Why not it.
Waldo can take the shape of our fears and virtues, can get stuck to our dreams because we were afraid to fail,or can lurk within us and we're unable to find him
the desire to fight for your dreams, to never give up your goals and hopes,
In the last paragraph , you asked why we need to find waldo. But in the previous paragraph, you said its in us.so i woould say we have been searching for something that doesn't need searching for.Once we are self aware of waldo, you know it right next to you.
something like that
Pretty good over all.
It's a really good base for an essay but I feel as though you should add a lot more personal things to the essay. In the second paragraph for instance, talk about your waldo and your triumphs and failures. You have a lot of words so just expand on this and include a lot more personal details.
Hope I helped! Can you check you my Uchicago essay?
I would like to remind you that UChicago asked for this to be one to two pages long. If you had an incredibly strong, unique idea, I would say that what you have is enough if it expressed your point well. However, how many other students applying do you think have already written something similar? Even if you just roam this site, I already see more than four students who have written basically the same thing that you've written. I like that you made it personal, but elaborate. Why should UChicago pick you instead of someone else, if they decided simply based on this essay?
Good job so far, and good luck!
Please look at my essays if you've got a moment.
