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"a child with autism" - UC prompt #2


stephygee 1 / -  
Nov 26, 2011   #1
Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud, and how does it relate to the person you are?

Helping children has always been something I have enjoyed doing. I have jumped at opportunities I have been given to do so. Sophomore year I learned of a summer camp for grades kindergarden to eighth where teenagers volunteer their time to care for them. My interest was immediately sparked and I signed up. It proved to be an amazing experience full of joy and entertainment for everyone. I have participated since then.

This last summer that I did camp, I was assigned to a first grader named Erwin. I was told he had a very strict diet because of allergies. I was scared to take care of him because I did not want something bad to happen, but I chose not switch campers. It was the right decision. We had a lot of fun that day; we played dinosaurs, ran, laughed, and so much more. At the end of the day, his father asked to speak to me. He pulled me aside and we talked for a little while. Then, his father informed me that Erwin was autistic. He requested that I be Erwin's counselor for the rest of the camp period and I agreed without hesitation.

As camp progressed, we got closer and closer. We were Stephanie and Erwin, the best counselor-camper combination out there. I learned a lot about Erwin and his behavioral habits, as well as autism. I did not realize it until the last day of camp, but he was making an enormous impact on me. The more memories we made, the less time I knew we had to make more. Camp was coming to a close. The last day came. It was time to say bye and it proved to be more difficult than I expected. We had grown really close over the course of camp. This shocked Erwin's parents and made them happy at the same time. His mother told me that because of his autism he is not close to anyone but family members and does not have a real friend at school. After camp ends, we are not allowed to keep in contact with the campers. When we said bye his parents cried, Erwin cried, and I cried. They thanked me over and over and called me Erwin's angel. What they did not realize was that Erwin is my angel.

Taking care of Erwin reinforced and added to my goal of working with and helping children. Erwin, his family, and his group of behavioral therapists opened my eyes to what I have to offer to the world: my patience, love, and understanding. I will offer these, plus my intelligence and capacity for learning and adjusting, anywhere I go. I believe that I have a very unique, open, and caring nature that is not easily found anywhere. I have become passionate in the subject of developmental disabilities and this passion drives me to succeed in school. I will not just be a student, but a driven student with a special purpose in life.

could i use this? or should i change it and write about something else?
THEBOSS22 1 / 6  
Nov 26, 2011   #2
I have jumped at opportunities I have been given to do so

This is not necessary, u have already led towards this sentence with ur first sentence.

teenagers volunteer their time to care for them

of not for

I was scared to take care of him because I did not want something bad to happen, but I chose not switch campers. It was the right decision.

The second part should be" I was scared to take care of him because I did not want something bad to happen, but I chose not switch campers and I feel it was a right decision."

Other than this, ur essay is good and it reaches the point


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