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My childhood was filled with palying with dirt; Yale Supp; Say More about you


Ana123 2 / 3  
Dec 26, 2012   #1
In this second essay, please reflect on something you would like us to know about you that we might not learn from the rest of your application-or on something that you would like to say more about. We ask that you limit your essay to fewer than 500 words.

When you are born in this world, your Parents make you feel like you are such a special person, Unique. As a child, like most others, you are repeatedly told I could reach any goals in you want to achieve in life. My grandpa used to say that "If you want something so passionately, all the energies in the universe will do its best to help you reach your goal." My childhood unlike other children was not filled with Barbie dolls, doll houses, Kitchen set.

It was filled with playing with dirt, spending time with family members. I didn't go outside very much because other kids made fun of me for my dark skin complexion scared me and teased me with my name 'Anamika to Limca'; Limca is a type of soft drink.

My Grandpa was the one during the whole time supporting me and made me feel like I was special and I was able to get what I wanted in life. My Grandpa was my tutor when i didn't went to school simply because I was not rich nor middles class, I was born poor and was going to stay poor.

I used questioned my Grandpa, "Why and for what I was getting punished for? Why couldn't I be like other girls? My Grandpa every time said only one thing which was "whatever happens, happens for good. Someday you will at the top."

I hadn't started school until I was 7 years old. I was home schooled by my Grandpa, he taught me how to read and write in the afternoon everyday. At first I didn't wanted my Grandpa to teach me because I wanted to go to school just like other kids.

Everyday after classes, I would run up to my balcony to see the kids walk back home. They looked so happy chit-chatting with each other.

Looking at them made me feel like I wasn't as special as them but I would tell myself, "No, Anamika you are special, very special and you will go to school once Dad gets a job."

Two years passed, lost my Grandpa, moved to a New Town. Finally, I was going to go to school 'Private School'. I was very excited, but before I started school, I had to take a placement exam for which I had to prepared myself. I had no one helping me prepare for the exam. I was very lonely without my Grandpa, to make myself feel like he was there with me I would remember every word he said to me.

One month passed, the exam date came, and I took the exam. Few days later, I went to the school to check whether I passed or not?

You won't believe it, I Passed the exam with 99%. I fell to the ground crying, i couldn't believe it, I thought I was it was an Illusion, remembering what my Grandpa had said, " If you want something so passionately, all the energies in the universe will do its best to help you reach your goal" Education is a type of wealth that can never be taken away from you, even when you have nothing with you, you'll have education."

These two Quotes said by my Grandpa and that childhood dreamer never fully faded when I grew up, leaving me with a dream that I can change the world, be on top of the world, provide my kids with the Opportunity, education, make them feel extra special and do something with my life worthy of remembrance. I do not strive to be the headline of every paper, the well-known face on television, the avant-garde or revolutionary who will transform society.

I want to build aspirations and hopes for people like me who were born in a village but somehow ended up in US.
I want to know that, when I leave this world, some parts of it will be better off for the life I have lived. I want to know that the culmination of my existence will have meant something to the world around me. I want to be able to give more, to do more, to be more.

However, I am not here to become Mahatma Gandhi, Dr. Martin Luther King, I simply want to fulfill my dream, my parents dream, and especially my Grandpa's dream of becoming a doctor and make better future for my community and love one. While I dream to change more than my immediate environment, I am not yet ready to do so, a fact that has motivated me, pushed me to be better all these years. My passion to reach my potential is matched only by my commitment to work for it, to learn, to grow. My family taught me love, patience, education, the importance of holding on to these dreams. My friends taught me , tolerance, respect, letting go sometimes. I learned from the people and places around me, and I am ready to move on to something bigger, to begin building my future. I am ready to begin changing the world and with help of Yale University, its Staff, its rigorous programs will help me achieve what I want in life, make my dreams come true, set an example for others that you should strive for Knowledge not grades and Believe in yourself more than anything in this world.
buttercup321 1 / 3  
Dec 27, 2012   #2
When you are born INTO this world, your Parents make you feel like you are such a special person, unique. As a child, like most others, you are repeatedly told YOU could reach any goals you want to achieve in life.

My Grandpa was my tutor when i didn't GO to school

" I thought I was it was an Illusion" , I think you should change that to "i thought it was an illusion"

It is a good essay and filled with a lot of emoion :) but maybe you should cut back on a few words beacuse i think it is more than 500.

(could you please have a look at my essay too?)
rew2402 5 / 21  
Dec 27, 2012   #3
My childhood , unlike other children , was not filled with Barbie dolls, doll houses, or the Kitchen set.

my name 'Anamika to Limca'; Limca is a type of soft drink.

how does the word limca relate to your black complexion? rephrase?

I fell to the ground crying, i couldn't believe it, I thought I was it was an Illusion, remembering what my Grandpa had said, " If you want something so passionately, all the energies in the universe will do its best to help you reach your goal"

break down the sentences? also- it was an illusion (period) I remembered what my grandpa....
rephrase how you are putting in the quotes. its confusing.

Mahatma Gandhi, Dr. Martin Luther King

use "or" between the names.
use period after using the name of MLKing. being with the new sentence- i am here....

My friends taught me , tolerance, respect, and letting go sometimes

and I am ready to move on to something bigger, - to begin building my future

Yale University, it' s Staff, it' s rigorous programs will help me achieve what I want in life,and make my dreams come true,Period. new sentece- i want to set an example for others that you should strive for Knowledge not grades and Believe in yourself more than anything in this world.

work on a stronger conclusion?

the essay is good and one can clearly see the emotions flowing through it :)
MiaB 8 / 25  
Dec 27, 2012   #4
:

You won't believe it,

: it's kinda unappropriate. change it with : "it was unbelievable" .

One month passed, the exam date came, and I took the exam.

A month later, I took the exam.

supporting me and mademaking me feel like I was special
LillyCullenT 2 / 16  
Dec 27, 2012   #5
You are sure going to have to abate your essay. One of the most important things that Yale would be looking at is whether you have appreciated their request for a word limit or not. So, please, be careful!
bymyside4948 4 / 20 2  
Dec 27, 2012   #6
Quite a lot of grammar mistakes. Use commas more frequently to separate your ideas in a sentence, too. Finally, shorten it down. I think this must be a hard task for you since you actually cannot cut down that much without affecting emotions in your essay, I guess.


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