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Since childhood, I heard a quote "Hard work is the key to success" from every successful person.


saurabh112 1 / 1  
Jan 20, 2015   #1
Since childhood, I heard a quote "Hard work is the key to success" from every successful person. I applied this knowledge by having my name on the list of top 3 students in the class since 1st grade, and on various certificates. But I didn't know that someday certain situation in my life would become strong enough to overcome my hard work. Until 11th grade, I took various challenging courses, participated in Olympiads and various school events with hard work as the only source for getting success. But I didn't know that 12th grade onward, I ought to consider something more than hard work.

11th January 2012, My father came from the office with a sad expression and told us that he would be retiring in coming March, means our only source of income would be ending. My whole family was feeling sorry except me as I didn't know that this would significantly affect my future decisions. In March, after completing my summer program, I was sitting on the sofa with a hot coffee cup in my left hand. I was completely lost in the memories; which I got from local village people during volunteer program. Suddenly a voice broke my unconsciousness, and I didn't take much time in recognizing that voice. That was the conversation between my parent discussing the budget, my school fees, and other expenses after my father's retirement, this worried me for the next few weeks. I was feeling like a burden on my guardian, so I decided to do a part time job to meet my school fees and other expenses. My former school counselor was the one who not only advice me, but also recommended me for the post of temporary teacher at a local elementary school and convinced me that I would be subtle for that job.

On 4th June, I met the principal of local elementary school. We had a long talk, and at last he accepted my proposal as the temporary physics teacher. Daily after coming from school and having quick lunch, I had to go for teaching physics for 2 hours. For early 2-3 weeks, those extra 2 hours were like a burden but as the time passed, I was feeling much more comfortable with my part time job and started enjoying those extra 2 hours.

Soon time passed, and it was January when I decided to take a leave from my part time job and start concentrating on my final exam. I just thought what a great experience I had, and I made the conclusion that little more hard work could even beat any particular circumstances in your life. But I didn't know that we had to give various tests before generalizing any act. I already made the gross schedule for the next two months of what to study when. All my plans were up to date including Mathematics for 4 hours, Physics and Chemistry for 5 hours but Physical Education for 2 hours only as it was much more content based and requires mugging. So I thought I would study two weeks before the exam.

One day when I wake up early for studying, I was having headache with the cough, and soon I came to know that I had typhoid. Doctor referred me to some reputed hospital in Delhi, which was 200 km away from my home. A week before the exam, doctor discharged me. All my plans were gone, and all my mugging knowledge was cleanup from my mind. This situation somewhere affect my final grade and the significantly affected were Physical Education and English grade.

After a month, I gave various national and state exam, and I was the only one who qualify IITJEE, UPSEE, and various other national exams. From that day, I understood that your real hard work would pay in some of the other way in any circumstances.

vangiespen - / 4,137 1449  
Jan 20, 2015   #2
Kindly clarify the common app essay prompt that you are trying to respond to with this narrative. It seems to me that you are trying to respond to at least 3 different prompt requirements in one essay. Which makes the essay distracting to read as you have a number of stories ongoing within which do not really offer a resolution by the end of the paragraphs. Are you trying to tell a "childhood to adulthood transition" essay, an "obstacle you had to overcome and lesson learned" essay, or "a significant event" essay? All three of these themes are currently present but under developed in your writing. What you need to do is focus the essay on the correct prompt, provide all of its requirements, and then edit the paper to ensure it is the strongest that it can be. As of this moment, the generalized essay offers a glimpse into your life but no real character development or life lesson learned and valued which can help shape your future.


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