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My childhood seemed very lousy in the moment, I've realized however, it's my greatest blessing

lryahaya13 1 / -  
Nov 18, 2018   #1
ApplyTexas Topic A:

What was the environment in which you were raised?

I'd look around my empty bedroom, reminiscing about the times spent goofing off with my best friends, attempting to finish homework, and pretending to be asleep when either one of my parents needed me to complete a chore. Closing the door, I sluggishly dragged myself towards the equally as empty living room and proceeded with a very unenthusiastic, "I'm ready to go." Being what many like to refer to as a "military brat", I'm no stranger to moving, after all I've lived in 6 different states. However, despite the frequency and knowledge of relocation, every move stung more than the previous and left me feeling defeated. Nonetheless, my experience with being a US Military dependent left me with long-lasting life lessons that helped shape me into the person I am today.

Being the daughter of a father who was once in the US Army, I lived the cliche military kid life. After two, three years it was time to move again, as my dad had gotten another station change. With every move meant a new school, new friends, and a new environment that brought about a new culture and social norms. To many that sounds like a nice fresh start, however I craved nothing but stability. I wanted to be able to grow up with my childhood friends and refer to my house as my childhood home but the constant transitions never allowed that. My families continuous moves constituted to a new way of life and having to adjust to new conditions and its always been the biggest challenge in my eyes. I hated change, having to leave my close-knit friend group, never being able to paint my room the bright pink or the baby blue I wanted because it wasn't really our house and we'd be out in 2 years time and everything else that moving brought.

Though this life was hard, especially as a child, I can't say that it was all heartbreak and sorrow. As I grew older I realized how thankful I am for my atypical childhood. I was able to meet people of varying cultures and learned the importance of embracing the different cultures I was exposed to. I got the privilege of exploring completely unalike geographical locations and ways of life and it's helped broaden my thinking and perspective. Through my many different communities, I learned how to embrace myself wholeheartedly because there's been times where I was the black sheep, and times where I was a part of the majority, and it's helped gain my sense of self on top of avoiding ignorance whether its racial, religious or cultural. I have a social circle that's spread out across the country and consists of amazing, reliable individuals who remind me that even if I'm alone, they'll never allow me to feel lonely.

My experiences have shaped me into the open-minded, friendly and loving person I am today. I've learned the importance of being a mature and hardworking person who won't give up without a fight. Though it was through the harsh circumstances of deployment, I've also learned the significance of bravery and resilience, which are qualities that will stick with me for the rest of my life. My military brat experience has no doubt given me the best life lessons that one could ask for and though my childhood is coming to an end, these lessons will be essential in the next stage of my life.

Though I no doubt still hate moving, I've come to the realization that change is inevitable and all of the change I've experienced in life was definitely for the greater good. In spite of the fact that my childhood seemed very lousy in the moment, with much reflection, I've realized it's my greatest blessing. Without it I wouldn't be the person I am today, and I just so happen to love the person I've become.

Holt - / 7,546 2001  
Nov 19, 2018   #2
Layipaana, don't forget to run a spellchecker and double check the grammar in your presentation. You've got several typos in there that need to be addressed. Watch out for those tricky pronoun changes like families which should be family's. Your word choices need to be double checked as well (e.g. years time = year's time). Refer to your punctuation marks as well. You need to correct some of them. I guess this is still the draft version of this essay right? So you have time to spot and correct the errors in the presentation.

Based on the content of the essay, would have to say that paragraph 1 and the concluding paragraph tend to underwhelm the reader. It doesn't have the sort of impact that would make it memorable to the reviewer. I believe that the second paragraph would work wonders in terms of creating a more memorable opening hook for the reviewer. The second to the last paragraph will also make for a stronger ending to the essay as it will remove your tendency to be redundant in terms of content and references within the presentation.

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