Prompt: Indicate a person who has had a significant influence on you, and describe that influence.
Chocolate or Vanilla?
He was one of the "CEOs" of his town. His salary was something to be envied of, for only a select number of salesmen could achieve such standards. He had all the aspects of a businessman. He was dedicated, tactical, and aggressive. No other competitor could sell the immense volume of products like he could. This he was most certain of. This man would later become something commendable, something amazing, and something successful. He accomplished his goal of becoming a leader, but more importantly he would become my father, the once owner of an ice cream parlor.
"Chocolate or vanilla?" Asked my dad, "Chocolate!" chose the boy as my father effortlessly scooped the chocolate ice cream and placed it into the waffle cone. This was just another regular purchase for the boy, but to my father it was a valuable profit. My father had to make the most of every cent he earned because he came to America with only enough to help him pay through his first semester of college. He had to work 7 days a week to earn his tuition and was willing to do whatever it took to obtain the money, even if it meant running his own ice cream parlor everyday for 3 years.
On top of running his ice cream parlor, my dad also took evening classes to further his college education. With this workload and emphasis on the stressful environment of running a retail business, my father developed strong work ethics and entrepreneurial skills that helped him become the leader he is today. My father was driven by his focus and determination that one day he would run an organization that would employ thousands of people and earn the respect of the business community.
He was willing to make personal sacrifices to achieve success with limited financial resources, ultimately getting to the finish line. My father led his shop and his workers to their fullest potential that would one day earn him the respect of his peers and critiques.
It would not be until 18 years of age that I would realize the significance of my father's impact on my self. His goal-oriented mindset, determination, and dedication has seeped into my mentality unknowingly. What had seemed natural to me was actually of subconscious observation. With these traits at hand, I have become the leader of several organizations and clubs in my school. This includes, Biology Club, Orchestra, Chess Club, and the school's tennis team. I've also developed a long term goal similar to that of my father. I have developed the aspiration of becoming a physician because I could benefit the community around me through my leadership as well as my knowledge in the field I would be pursuing. To achieve success I had to choose between what had seemed like two flavors, emphasis on my education or my drive to pursue a goal. I would choose both. Can't you get a chocolate and vanilla swirl?
AWESOME! Imaginative, descriptive, and sincere. It's unique and personal and I really enjoyed it. The last line was a punch!
I think you can cut back on some of your father's description so that you give more room for yourself. Remember, you have to describe YOU in this essay. Emphasize more on your father's influence and what you've learned, how you've grown!
Once that's done, this will be a winning essay (in my opinion).
Please check my essay! :)
