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'Choose an issue of importance to you' "Self-Control" essay for UT Topic B


chuckp459 1 / -  
Sep 25, 2012   #1
Prompt: Choose an issue of importance to youïthe issue could be personal, school related, local, political, or international in scopeïand write an essay in which you explain the significance of that issue to yourself, your family, your community, or your generation.

I would greatly appreciate feedback on improvements I can make on this essay.

Self-Control

How many problems can you think of that could have been easily avoided if someone had applied self-control? It's easy as how many people have access to a toothbrush but choose not to brush their teeth because of pure laziness which results in dental problems for themselves. It can even be as dumb as choosing not to go to a class or job because you'd rather sleep in which can lead to failing to reach your goals in life. We face problems every day when we choose who we are and what we do. With every choice we make, we are either working towards our goal or away from our goal. Everyday someone somewhere is struggling with a problem that they could have easily solved. Sadly, people tend to not realize that they have one major problem that gets in the way of all of their everyday problems. This so called major problem really isn't a problem at all, but just the simple idea of self-control. If people could learn to use self-control then they could make the right choices in life.

It's rather sad to witness the lack of self-control I see in people every day simply because self-control applies to everything we do. Happiness drives most of us to live our lives. We achieve happiness by reaching our goals. We reach our goals by applying ourselves to them. To apply ourselves we use self-control. Another way of saying that is self-control lies at the root of who we are. If we can't master the basics of self-control then how can we ever expect to get anywhere in life? I've asked myself this many times when I see someone with no self-control complain about how they failed their goal when they apply no effort into achieving their goal. I fear that self-control has been the number one reason for the problems that my generation faces and will continue to face.

Everything around us could improve if more of us had self-control. Take the idea of eating healthy. If everyone chose to eat healthier food internationally then the demand for healthy food would rise, thus creating a larger supply of healthy food which in scope would mean a larger percent of humans eating healthy. This simple concept of eating healthy applies when you choose what you and your family eats and grows on their own. As a community, you can band together to create community gardens to reach the goal of eating healthier for everyone in the community. My generation must learn self-control because we are in charge of the health of our generation and the generations to come. These ideas sound great, but are much easier said than done simply because too many people in my generation lack self-control.

We won't ever be perfect at self-control considering we are not always under the control of our feelings. Many people suffer from mental illnesses that change how they feel and think. I have battled with Bipolar Disorder since I was a child and over the years have learned what works and what doesn't in keeping a clear state of mind. I choose not to take any medication for it simply because I know with self-control I can work on getting past my problems mentally. Choosing to work on my problems mentally paid off over the years because I feel I have the self-control to achieve any goal that I truly want to achieve. In the past, I used to have little self-control in putting effort towards my goals. Now self-control comes naturally to me in leading a happy and productive life. I hope that as my generation grows up more people will learn to take control of their lives.
Jennyflower81 - / 690 96  
Sep 30, 2012   #2
How many problems can you think of that could have been easily avoided if someone had applied self-control? It's easy as how many people have access to a toothbrush but choose not to brush their teeth because of pure laziness which results in dental problems for themselves. It can even be as dumb as choosing not to go to a class or job because you'd rather sleep in which can lead to failing to reach your goals in life. We face problems every day when we choose who we are and what we do. With every choice we make, we are either working towards our goal or away from our goal. Everyday someone somewhere is struggling with a problem that they could have easily solved. Sadly, people tend to not realize that they have one major problem that gets in the way of all of their everyday problems. This so called major problem really isn't a problem at all, but just the simple idea of self-control. If people could learn to use self-control then they could make the right choices in life.

Don't start with a question. Also, try to put a more positive spin on this topic, you start out by talking about problems, then I see words like dumb, problem (too many times) and sadly. I feel depressed while I read it, so try to take a different angle on this subject and that would make the paper more positive and structured, be clear and concise, try not to be "wordy"

It's rather sad to witness the lack of self-control I see in people every day simply because self-control applies to everything we do. Happiness drives most of us to live our lives. We achieve happiness by reaching our goals. We reach our goals by applying ourselves to them. To apply ourselves we use self-control. Another way of saying that is self-control lies at the root of who we are. If we can't master the basics of self-control then how can we ever expect to get anywhere in life? I've asked myself this many times when I see someone with no self-control complain about how they failed their goal when they apply no effort into achieving their goal. I fear that self-control has been the number one reason for the problems that my generation faces and will continue to face.

You have many great ideas in this paragraph but you need to organize them better (it sounds a little bit like rambling, especially the first few sentences). Also, if you could explain some concepts that are related to self-control, like responsibility and patience, leadership skills, timeliness, motivation, and thoughtfulness.


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