The first question out of three essays that need to be submitted:
"1. Please write the reason/s why you to attend APU and how you intend to approach your studies within your first choice of college (APS/ APM)."
Here is my response:
I choose Ritsumeikan Asia Pacific University to continue my further education because APU is located in Japan, a country renowned for incredible work ethics and rich culture and knowledge. As a developed country, Japan provides high quality education which is essential to survive in the dynamic and ever-changing world. APU will also give me the chance to make my way into the international community. APU provides incredible quality education and supporting aspects needed to create conducive learning environment. Besides, APU has high employment rates upon graduation. This will give APU students higher chance to be recruited by companies upon graduation. I hope I will be able to explore Japan and experience the challenging and interesting life as an international student in Japan.
APU has huge amount of international students, thus I hope I will be able to build networking in the multicultural and multilingual surroundings. This kind of place will be able to sharpen my linguistic, leadership, and communication skills, without having to lose my identity as an Indonesian, as APU also has the multicultural weeks activity on campus.
Although I am not able to understand written nor spoken Japanese at the moment, APU gives me the space to learn and master Japanese and also to sharpen my ability in understanding written and spoken English. This could be an amazing chance for me improve my skills.
Also, thanks to APU's diverse student composition, I will be getting the opportunity to engage in so many different communities. To my opinion, good academic skills must also be supported by the ability to built networking and socializing. So, I hope by making new connections and friends and sharing ideas with people from various backgrounds, I will get the needed valuable lessons to solve problems or obstacles that may come later, whether in pursuing my education or even in the future stage of life. I probably will not be getting this one of a kind opportunity where I can participate in international community on a daily basis if I choose to continue my education in Indonesia.
Both of my parents and I agree that I should be majoring in accounting. I am truly ecstatic about money matters and how to manage money. During the sophomore and senior year in high school, I and my friends raised fund by selling some goods, like foods or ladies accessories. After sales, I would count the income and profit earned. I also learned how to set up prices and earn adequate profits. These activities have become one of the biggest contributing factors why I choose to major in accounting.
If I am chosen to be an APM student, I am going to give all my best on learning and gaining knowledge in APM. Although I am now majoring in natural science in high school, I do not mind learning accounting from zero. To my opinion, the more the knowledge we have, the better. As a Japanese illiterate, there will definitely be a lot of catching up to do, both on the linguistic and cultural sides.
Japan is the country I believe will open doors of opportunities for me, so, becoming a student in Japan, specifically APU, is a chance not to be missed. I will definitely make the most of it, and the most important thing, is to enjoy every time spent learning in APU. I believe college is not only about reading and memorizing lectures, papers, or textbooks; college is also a place for us to expand our point of view and to cherish friendships. I never know what future has in store for me, but as long as there is a good opportunity, it is surely not to be missed.
(word count: 614 words)
Any suggestion how to make the essay more interesting to read? Any help would be highly appreciated :)
This is not badly written... But I wish if you presented it in a bit more creative manner. As it is, it sounds a bit formal. Tell them why you attracted to this program in a more convincing manner. Talk through your emotions and experiences. For example, if you tell them about some experience that caught your attention on Japan that is much more effective than just declaring that Japan is a great country.... Hope you got my point :)
Also, it took a while for me to locate in what stream you are going to major. I think you need to give more prominence to that fact. So I think it should pop up sooner and not later.
