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I am choosing NYU for its various undergraduate programs, study abroad programs, and student life.

thereis123 4 / 6  
Dec 30, 2015   #1
I need a little bit of help with my essay. If there are any grammatical errors or other things that should be changed, feel free to let me know.

I am choosing New York University because of its various undergraduate programs, study abroad programs, and student life.

I recently visited NYU and I must say the campus is truly incredible. While taking a tour of the school, I was amazed by the layout of the campus. In the heart of Manhattan's Greenwich Village, NYU is a unique school that functions on the basis of a not-so typical college campus. The sense of community in combination with Washington Square Park defines NYU.

As I was conducting research on this school a few undergraduate programs interested me. With over 230 areas of study, NYU offers a wide variety of options for a major. The economics program stuck out to me the most because it is a major that helps people understand how a society determines the distribution of its resources and how it can affect society. Economics at NYU combines the fields of political economy, industrial economics, international economics and growth and development. It is also a good way to gain an understanding of the business world and I think this will provide me with a great basis of wanting to become a corporate lawyer.

I would also like to travel the world more often in the near future and I believe NYU will be a great place to start because of the abundance of study abroad programs. The study abroad program in Madrid, Spain interested me the most. I am currently taking Spanish at school and I am in my third semester. In the beginning, I was unsure if I was ready to take on a new language, but now I am really glad I got involved in Spanish because now I am on my way to my fourth semester in Spanish. I now find Spanish to be such an interesting language and I find it cool because now when I watch a Spanish-speaking movie or show, I am able to pick up some of the words, instead of sitting there confused. In turn, I hope to attend NYU's study abroad program in Madrid, Spain.

The student life at NYU seems to be extremely diverse. The countless student organizations develops a sense of belonging for every student who attends this school.

I wish to attend NYU to be exposed to new experiences, attend various study abroad programs, participate in interesting undergraduate programs, and meet a variety of new people.

(399 words)
Chels4afu 1 / 3 2  
Dec 30, 2015   #2
Your essay seems a little generic. When you talk about their econ major, don't tell them simple facts they already know and have seen a thousand times in applicant essays. Tell them why NYU's economics major is best one for YOU, how will it help YOU specifically, make it about yourself not about them; they already know they're awesome, they want to know why they should give you the opportunity to study there.They want to know specifics. Are there are any specific programs within the economics department that you can't find anywhere else? Do they offer a specific teaching style you like?

For the study abroad part you have to do the same. You go on about your love for Spanish but what is stopping you from applying to other schools and studying abroad. Many schools will give you the same option to study abroad in Spain. Say what makes their study abroad programs special.

You're a good writer, but overall I recommend you do a little more research in order to make your response stand out.

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