My essay on why I chose pharmacy and what about it interests me?

Please provide an essay that explains why you chose your intended program of study. What interests you the most about this major? If Undecided, what areas of study do you look forward to studying in college? (50-500 words)

a stressful career to serve people

Pharmacy is a stressful career to pursue, involving the distribution of medication, educating patients on health-related questions, and much more. At any moment, a mistake could be made that'll impact someone's life in a big or small way. Knowing this information, it does not affect my decision to achieve a Doctorate of Pharmacy and help everyone who comes into my life. Pharmacist work in more than retail stores, they work helping people who are in desperate need, people in natural disasters and crises. I choose to pursue pharmacy so I can help people from countries with poor health care, like in Bolivia, ranked one of the lowest health care systems in the western hemisphere.

Pharmacy is the field of study I want to pursue because it gives me an opportunity to help people who can't get the medicine they require due to disaster or poor health care systems. I wish to aid those that have less than I do because no one should suffer and or die because they don't have the medicine. Pharmacy is also a profession that involves communicating with patients, a characteristic other sciences don't include. Another influence is recognizing symptoms, they have the knowledge to notice signs and prevent the disease from getting worse. There are many reasons I choose this profession as my career choice, the biggest being the communication, helping the less fortunate, and their knowledge on symptoms.

Many traits of pharmacy interest me, one would be that it is a top ranked occupation in the U.S and it is always in high demand. I'm interested in the medication, the symptoms and signs, and I want to learn how to use them for health and not harm. I have the opportunity to monitor a patient's health, educate them on medicine, provide immunizations, and meet new people that I can aid everyday. Pharmacy works with a lot of math of science, courses I've been interested in for a long time and this occupation would grant me life long learning. The biggest interest is communication, conversing directly with the patient and forming relationships every time they return, being in the community.

Joining the community, forming relationships, help patients with their health, and in some cases, travel to countries to aid those less fortunate are some reasons why I want to become part of the field of medicine. Assisting students, joining discussions, and solving problems are steps I can take to reach my goal and aid anyone who requires my service. My motivation encourages me to take any early steps to learn and be prepared for starting college and competing to graduate at the top of my class.

My essay is within the word limit, thank you for the advice I will consider it.

Victor, do not confuse pharmacy with medical science. Seeing signs and symptoms in your clients does not give you the authority to diagnose and prescribe medications. However, if you studied to become a pharmacist prescriber, then you may prescribe medication within a given scope. I am not sure if that is the kind of pharmacist that you are though because you did not mention that specifically in your opening statement. Since that is not the focus of your occupation, then it is always safe to assume that you will be more on the dispensing and patient / doctor education side of the job. Revise your essay accordingly. Additionally, having reviewed the first two paragraphs of your essay, I have developed a personal opinion that the first paragraph is nothing but you trying to educate the reviewer about the job of a pharmacist, which is not necessary in this instance. You should skip that paragraph and instead, use the second paragraph to give your essay a stronger and more relevant opening salvo. You can just incorporate the information about Bolivia at the end of that paragraph if you wish to. Although, the Bolivia reason is weak and doesn't help the essay along. If you are studying this course in order help your country improve its drug industry, then that should be the focal point of your opening statement. Not a lecture on the meaning of the job or the job description.

I am not an expert in Anglophone writing but I will try to give some points.
The first topic sentence Pharmacy is a stressful career to ... I think it is good to define what is your understanding of the field that you want to endeavor, but I think "stressful" might be a negative adjective in the description. Maybe you could try other alternatives to make the topic sentence sound more positive.

Paragraph 2, I wish to aid those ... no one should suffer and or die ... I am quite puzzled at this sentence, could you please try to explain in another way?

Paragraph 3, Many traits of pharmacy interest me... Personally, I think in an application form, one important fact is to show your determination and why you are needed by them in this field. Your explanation in this paragraph is persuasive, but the topic sentence might sound a bit weak in leading the whole paragraph.

Victor,
1. As said above, beginning your essay with a negative adjetive ("stressful") gives the reader the impression that you are already tired of your career. If you wish to keep that adjective, I suggest you to contrast with a positive one, stating that, although it may seem stressful, that's your passion or something similar(isn't it?);

2. You are always talking about helping people with your career. If you mention a specific example of something you have already done with such purpose, your essay will be more vivid and will show that you really care about it;

3. You mentioned twice your interest in communication (second and third paragraph). Remember that your space is limited and you probably want to show another reason that motivates you to follow Pharmacy;

4. If you are applying to an Ivy League, you MUST show passion about what you do. Saying that it interests you because "it is a top ranked occupation in the U.S" doesn't sound very passionate. Instead, it seems that you are doing this because of employability

I wish you the best of luck with your essay!

Thank you @Isabellaalmeida, @Qianting, and @Holt for all the advice.