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Church. Just the hearing the word Church brings so much joy and happiness into my heart.


jaark3927 2 / 3  
Dec 22, 2014   #1
I chose the 4th option- Describe a place or environment where you are perfectly content. What do you do or experience there, and why is it meaningful to you?

** Before you read this essay, it is not completely finished. I'm having trouble figuring out what is missing or what needs to be added. If you guys have any suggestions please let me know**

Church. Just the hearing the word Church brings so much joy and happiness into my
heart. Since the day I was born to this very moment I have always been attending
church whether it would Sunday mornings, Wednesday evenings, and even Saturday
nights. Church was always a place that I could be myself and not worry about the rest of
problems and the stress that came along with them. Although the stereotypes of
churches are how every time you went you were being condemned and judged for all the
wrongdoing you have done, it never affected me in that way but instead gave me a new
life. As a young child, who was shy and sheltered, I was never into school since I wasn't
a very talkative kid. Whenever I would stress out or worry about a problem in my life
being at church and the environment that came along with it made all my problems go
away as if I was in another world. At times to get away from the world I would just go
church and sit in the chapel and play away on my guitar for hours. One thing that always
keeps me on the right track in life is praying at church and just being with the people that
I love and the ones that would always be there for me whenever I need moral support.
To me having a place of content is meaningful because it's an environment that always
brings peace and comfort.

breeskness 2 / 11 2  
Dec 22, 2014   #2
This is really good at describing church and how you feel towards this environment.
I get from this essay that you were not outgoing as a child, and that church was a place for you to be quiet, it does show your dedicated and committed to your morals, and that you take enjoyment from the little things. You answered the prompt, but if you want to set yourself apart try answering another question in the essay as well, like how this place has shaped what you want to do with your future, or how this place has also shaped your choice of universtities (if your looking to attend religious colleges), why you would fit said universities,

It is a well written, although maybe look at changing :

Whenever I would stress out or worry about a problem in my life
being at church and the environment that came along with it made all my problems go
away as if I was in another world.

Whenever I was stressed or encoutering hardships(good place to enter hardship), being at church and experiencing the serene environment would help dissolve the rest of my problems, I felt as if i'd been taken to another world.

Revise grammatical errors, maybe try re writing some sentences, other than that,

Maybe try using the world church less too, i understand this is the place your describing but it can be repetitive,


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