This is really good at describing church and how you feel towards this environment.
I get from this essay that you were not outgoing as a child, and that church was a place for you to be quiet, it does show your dedicated and committed to your morals, and that you take enjoyment from the little things. You answered the prompt, but if you want to set yourself apart try answering another question in the essay as well, like how this place has shaped what you want to do with your future, or how this place has also shaped your choice of universtities (if your looking to attend religious colleges), why you would fit said universities,
It is a well written, although maybe look at changing :
Whenever I would stress out or worry about a problem in my life
being at church and the environment that came along with it made all my problems go
away as if I was in another world.
Whenever I was stressed or encoutering hardships(good place to enter hardship), being at church and experiencing the serene environment would help dissolve the rest of my problems, I felt as if i'd been taken to another world.
Revise grammatical errors, maybe try re writing some sentences, other than that,
Maybe try using the world church less too, i understand this is the place your describing but it can be repetitive,