Here are my reponses for the columbia and nyu supplements! comments/revisions/critiques are welcomed and appreciated! thank you! :)
Columbia University:
Please tell us what you find most appealing about Columbia and why: (1500 character limit)
I'm a city boy at heart. Born and raising in Chicago, a city with life bustling, and a constant sound of existence, an urban environment is what I feel as home. When I got older, I found myself contemplating where I wanted to go to college. I knew I wanted to go far away from home, but it also had to be an urban setting like Chicago. What better place is there to be than in one of the best universities in the world, in the biggest city in the nation: Columbia University: In the City of New York. However, it wasn't just the urban environment that attracted me to Columbia University. The "unparalleled opportunity" that is available at Columbia allows students to explore their interests and dare to explore new ones. I don't have to be tied up in one particular concentration of study. I could explore new ones, and combine them as well. Along with the curriculum, the diverse community at Columbia would make me feel right at home. Like Chicago, New York City is one of the most diverse cities in the nation. With Columbia right in the middle of the magnificent city, the diversity is effervescent and distinctive. With the cultural exploration occurring within the college, my educational experience would not only be enriched, but it would become exciting as well. Columbia is the experience I would like in my life. The exploration is infinite, and the possibilities are endless.
NYU:
Please tell us what led you to select both your anticipated academic area(s) of study and the NYU school / college / program or the Abu Dhabi campus. What interests you most about your intended discipline? Mention any extracurricular or non-school-related activities or experiences that demonstrate your interest. (500 character limit)
From playing doctor as a boy, to reading anatomy books for fun as a teen, my interest in medicine was always illustrated to others. A major within the College of Arts and Sciences, with the area of study being Pre-Professional Medicine is the right choice for me. The physiology of the human body is astonishing, with many things yet to be discovered. Volunteering at the University of Chicago Hospital gives me insight to how life is within the dynamic environment, in which I want to be a part of.
NYU is 'In and of the City' and 'In and of the World.' What does the concept of a global network university mean to you? How do you think studying in New York City, Abu Dhabi, or one of NYU's global sites would change you as a person and equip you to build cross-cultural relationships at NYU and beyond? (500 character limit)
The global network university is significant to the fact that there are opportunities at NYU to grow intellectually and diversely within many different cultures around the world. From Paris to Tel Aviv, the global network is interconnected by the idea of the opportunity to be a leader in the world. The changes I would be confronted with include leadership, character, and intellect. The cultural experience acquired will create relationships by assimilating ethics, thus creating affinity.
If you had the opportunity to bring any person -- past or present, fictional or nonfictional -- to a place that is special to you (your hometown or country, a favorite location, etc), who would you bring and why? Tell us what you would share with that person. (500 character limit)
Professor Robert Langdon from Dan Brown's books would be the person I would bring to Washington D.C. to explore the hidden secrets in our nation's capital. Mr. Langdon, a Harvard symbologist, is the perfect person to explore Washington D.C. with. Exploring the capital in depth would be the remarkable experience I desire the most. Sharing my knowledge with his, we would uncover the government's secrets and share them in an epic video documentary for the world, starring myself and Mr. Langdon.
Very good! I like "a constant sound of existence," any city kid immediately would get exactly what you mean!
"Born and raising in Chicago"-> raised.
" in the biggest city in the nation: Columbia University: In the City of New York"-> Doesn't 'what' make it a question? And don't use two colons, knock of the second one for a comma, maybe?
" I don't have to be tied up in one particular concentration of study."-> wouldn't have to be... also, combine this sentence with the next one?
"my interest in medicine was always illustrated to others"-> who cares about others? Knock that bit off.
"Professor Robert Langdon from Dan Brown's books would be the person I would bring to Washington D.C. to explore the hidden secrets in our nation's capital."-> The sentence gets more concise of you start with 'I', so I'd do that.
"Sharing my knowledge with his, we would uncover the government's secrets and share them in an epic video documentary for the world, starring myself and Mr. Langdon."-> Needlessly long. I'd say: "Sharing my knowledge with his, we would collaborate to uncover the government's secrets and share them in an epic video documentary for the world., starring myself and Mr. Langdon. (cause the rest of it is understood, and so redundant)
Good luck!:)
"What better place is there to be than in one of the best universities in the world, in the biggest city in the nation: Columbia University: In the City of New York. "
This is kind of confusing, its very wordy, i think you should re word it.
