kyapkyap 2 / 2 Oct 23, 2011 #1This is my short essay for Common App.. Any comments please?"It's been six years since I first held this luxurious, black wooden instrument covered with shimmering silver keys, and now it is my time to reveal myself as a clarinetist, in this stage called Improvement Concert"With the black mouthpiece and wooden reed on my lower lips, I took a deep breath. Then, the wave of guitar accompaniment soon filled the gallery with its luring bossa nova tune. As my mouth expelled a torrent of wind, the vibration of the reed produced a solid, beautiful sound, which soon dissolved into the guitar tune like a spoonful of Swiss Miss smoothly melting into hot milk with marshmallows.It was my first time sharing my interest for jazz with the public. I took my mouth off from the clarinet, and the performance ended with a big applause from the audience. Rather than making me timid and embarrassed, the performance provided me a profound feeling of joy from music.
lnddancer 3 / 6 Oct 23, 2011 #2This is great, you can really see your passion for the clarinet. I would change it to present tense to make it sound in the moment, it would draw your reader in. I automatically corrected it in my head to present tense anyway.Then, the wave of guitar accompaniment soon filled the gallery with its luring bossa nova tune.---The wave of my guitar accompaniment soon fills the gallery with its luring bossa nova tunes.
