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a class taught by a historic figure-living or dead - Writing sample


mickeygirl 5 / 7  
Oct 30, 2008   #1
Prompt: If you could take a class taught by a historic figure-living or dead, who will you choose? And why?(3-5pages)

Among the countless respectable figures in the history of human civilization, the one I adore and admire the most is Baron de Coubertin, known as the founder of the International Olympic Committee. It shall be a good fortune in my whole life if time could flow back so I could be his pupil

As known to all, Olympic Games started at the sacred Olympia more than 2,800 years ago, and were a precious spiritual and cultural fortune contributed by the ancient Greeks to human history. However, the ancient Olympic Games were once, for various reasons, stooped. The magnificent part of Coubertin was that he has played a critical role in the revival of the Olympic Games, from the vanished ancient Games to the Modern ones, as well as has laid the foundation for the Modern Olympic movement to become a cultural and physical activity that is attended by the most people and has the most profound influence in nowadays.

I was, as if, standing on the land of the birthplace of the Olympic Games - Olympia, and feeling the spirit, which Baron de Coubertin carried out to push forward the idea of international sports. In 1894, at the Sorbonne in Paris, Coubertin proposed a revival of the ancient Olympic Games at an international congress that led to the establishment of the International Olympic Committee (IOC), of which de Coubertin became the general secretary. In 1913, he designed the emblem and flag for IOC. The flag is white patterned, five rings- blue, yellow, black, green, and red-symbolize unity of five continents around the world, as well as athletes in a fair and friendly competition together in the spirit of the Olympic Games. In determining the International Olympic slogan, he advocated and affirmed the "Faster, Higher, Stronger" slogan embodied the great spirit of continuous improvement. I was also moved by his perseverance. In 1896, in the situation that the first modern Olympic Games was almost impossible because of the cost, Baron de Coubertin personally went to Athens, met with Crown Prince and Prime Minister, tried their best running day and night, and finally led to a success. During the time of the second Paris Olympic Games, which came into conflict with World Expo event, he was ridiculed and reviled from time to time, but bear with the situation and never discouraged. Moreover, Coubertin was not only an outstanding international sporting activist, but also a highly successful educator of science and history. He composed many famous articles; particularly, in 1912 in Stockholm, Sweden at the 5th Olympic Games, Baron de Coubertin delivered a well-known speech- "Ode to Sports" for sports in a number of disadvantages at that time, and won the Olympic gold medal for literature and art competitions.

Baron de Coubertin's spirit of far-sight, perspicacity, and persistence, as well as his courage of challenging difficulties, are what I especially value; his efforts in the combination of the Olympics with culture and education, the propagation of "peace, friendship and progress" and his remarkable contributions to development of sports should forever be respected and appreciated. And this is why de Coubertin is great in my heart. I even have a thought if that Baron de Coubertin could be my teacher.

We are making social progress as time goes by. Suppose that Coubertin does teach me in a class, I would like to discuss with him on how to carry forward his Olympic spirits in today's world and how to persist in advanced Olympic concepts to create a marvelous future for all humans through joint efforts.

Mutual understandingļ¼Œtolerance, and cooperation are what needed to grease the relationship among different countries today. By gathering people from different countries, nations, and cultures, the international Olympic is playing an increasingly critical role in promoting the understanding and friend, as well as peace and development of all human beings. The Olympic Games mean an opportunity not only to host country, but also to the world; it is a distinguished sports show and a platform for cultural exchange. As a civilization relic and cultural festival, a common wish and expectation of all humans, as well as a process of blending and interaction between eastern and western civilizations, the Olympics have become significant representation of the cultural development of humans. That is the first modern Olympic concept which I want talk with Coubertin- Humanistic Olympics or People's Olympics.

Then, I would like to discuss with Baron de Coubertin about High-tech Olympics. Just like "Faster, Higher, Stronger", there is a slogan to indicate the spirit of High-tech Olympics also-faster, more convenient, more accurate, and more secure. For faster, it is necessary to use a large number of broadband networks, multimedia, and high-definition technology; become more convenient requires to make all information, transportation, and competition intelligentized; to be more accurate needs time, geographical location and the progress of Games to report out or to be checked well; more secure, one of the most important issues in every Olympic Games, contains security, identity authentication, etc.

I would like to take a class taught by Baron de Coubertin. His foresight, sagacity and persistent efforts have brought the Olympic Games back to human lives; his eminent contributions have won him extensive respect and supreme honor in the world Olympic family. I believe Coubertin too would be very pleased if I can share with him my opinions on how to carry on the modern Olympic spirits, persist in the concept of People's Olympics and High-tech Olympics, as well as make the Olympics and human society grow higher, faster, and stronger.

EF_Team5 - / 1,586  
Oct 30, 2008   #2
Good afternoon.

First, remember punctuation at the end of every sentence.

Second, do you mean "stooped," or did you mean "stopped?"

Third, I suggest you run the piece through a spell checking program such as Word or the Mozilla web browser (free at mozilla.com).

Make sure you are only capitalizing proper nouns and the first words of sentences; this includes words enclosed in quotation marks.

Avoid using abbreviations such as "etc." in formal academic writing. Write out all of the items in your series instead.

Make sure your punctuation is enclosed inside the quotation marks when you are using them, never outside of them "after the fact."

I hope these suggestions help you get started; now go back through and carefully look for these instances. Your essay will be much stronger once you have.

Regards,
Gloria
Moderator, EssayForum.com


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