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I am a cliche


karan11295 5 / 42  
Nov 30, 2011   #1
I am a cliché. A walking, talking, eating, breathing, sleeping cliché. I love maths and physics and I am from India. That makes me the cookie cutter Asian. I am scrawny, bespectacled and obsessed with numbers. You see tons of people like me every day. Yet you still bother to read my application, Bravo. Like everyone else, I want to set myself apart from the gray wall of applications. But how will I do it? By writing an essay. An essay that shows you that there are new people, even nerdy Indians, worth meeting. But what shall I write to make you believe in me? I have pondered this question for long. And after a tumultuous battle in my mind, I have reached an answer. I'll let you decide. I am a misshapen blob of clay waiting to be moulded. We are going to embark on a 4 year long session of pottery, me and you. You'll shape me and my ideas and I'll question and debate your decisions at every step. For I am no ordinary clay. I have been shaped and unshaped a lot of times, over the last 16 years turning me into a new blob every day. I retain resistance somewhere yet I flow like water somewhere too. Memories and experiences ingrain themselves into every grain of the clay, into my soul. With every spin of the wheel, with your each touch, I'll change bit by bit. But not always according to you, because I am no ordinary clay. I'll respond back. The clay shall talk to the hand. The pot shall emerge. And that day, then and there I shall say," I am no ordinary pot". Though far and long, we shall wither the journey together. For we are potter and clay, the unbreakable bond.
rweichler 1 / 4  
Nov 30, 2011   #2
What's the prompt?

Also, nice- I like it. I would get rid of the , Bravo. At the beginning, though.
OP karan11295 5 / 42  
Nov 30, 2011   #3
Topic of my choice for the commonapp. I am deciding between this and my other one which I like more. Thanks a lot though. Also read the other one if you can. Its down below.
aripeters17 4 / 10  
Nov 30, 2011   #4
I really enjoyed this essay! There was just one small thing that I think you should change. At the end, you wrote "Though far and long, we shall wither the journey together." Instead of wither, it should say weather. Other than that, it was a great essay!
asburyceline 5 / 12  
Nov 30, 2011   #5
Quality essay. LOVE IT! but i would get rid off the Bravo as well. :)
adamkot /  
Nov 30, 2011   #6
Very unique essay which makes it good. I agree with other posts and would get rid of the bravo
melanieleng 2 / 3  
Nov 30, 2011   #7
I liked all the imagery you had. :)
OP karan11295 5 / 42  
Nov 30, 2011   #8
Thanks aripeter for the correction and thanks everyone for the suggestions. I'll remove the 'bravo'. But could you compare it to my other essay? I want to decide and I likeit more. But your comments have made me think again. So try to look at it if you can. Thanks a lot
ItsokaytoGaga 15 / 96  
Dec 1, 2011   #9
I feel this essay is much better. And I must say you are very adept at incorporating metaphors and imagery in your writing. :)
However, while I get a fair sense of 'you' from the essay, I cannot help but feel that it's like a sort of more tell than show. Do you get what I mean? Maybe I am wrong in this aspect. Again we come to the question whether the essay shows your personal growth? I feel it doesn't. It just states it in a very imaginative way.

I hope this helps!
Please help me with my essay! :) Thanks.


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