Topic of your choice:
250-500words. I'm at exactly 500.
I thrive on change. I've lived in four towns and attended eight different schools. It is this constant movement to new environments that inspires me.
When I was little, I resented moving. I envied girls who had friends they had known forever, while I was forced to start afresh each time. But that feeling was short lived and rapidly gave way to an eagerness for exploring new places and meeting new people. Every place I've lived in has become a new and exciting chapter in my life with it's own unique impact. Each new experience has helped shape who I am.
The first place I can remember living in was Clifton, a small town in New Jersey. It was here that I learned to walk, talk, write, and ride a bike. Oh yes, I also had to learn to share, when my little sister made a grand arrival. It was also the place where I learned that I was "different". One day during recess a girl did not share her stickers with me because I "had brown skin while others did not". That was the day that I became aware that people are different. I was a little hurt, but soon realized that being different had its advantages. It allowed me to appreciate other points of view with a lot more sympathy, admiration and insight.
New York introduced me to the world of art. It offered me endless exhibits, and inspirations at every turn. It was there that I discovered the passion that would take over my life. It all started on a Sunday afternoon at the Metropolitan Museum when I sat on the floor of the huge Egyptian room, copying patterns in my little pink notebook. I've never stopped drawing since.
Edison, New Jersey, a cosmopolitan town with a large population of Indian immigrants, gave me insight into myself. There, homecoming was as big a deal as "garba" the Indian dance festival, and the Indian bazaar was as busy as the mall. In Edison I learned about foods, culture, colors, and clothes that my parents grew up with. It helped me to understand them as well as myself better.
Finally, we come to Ellicott City, Maryland, a town that to most people my age is a lifeless and boring suburb. In reality, you just need to explore with an open mind. Recently I found a beautiful children's cemetery from the 1800's tucked away in my neighborhood. I have spent hours there, surrounded by carefully planted flowers, taking pictures and sketching, but mostly just sitting and imagining each little life that rested there.
And so, I've come to believe that there is good in every situation, and that diversity makes life interesting. I have become a mix of Indian values, metropolitan tastes, and suburban sensibilities, and if it weren't for my moves, I would never have attained this. The changes in my life have made me the unique person I am today, and I wouldn't trade it for the world.
The first place I can remember living in was Clifton, a small town in New Jersey. It was here that I learned to walk, talk, write, and ride a bike. Oh yes, I also had to learn to share, when my little sister made a grand arrival.It was also the place where I learned that I was "different" . One day during recess a girl did not share her stickers with me because I "had brown skin while others did not". That was the day that I became aware that people are different. I was a little hurt, but soon realized that being different had its advantages. It allowed me to appreciate other points of view with a lot more sympathy, admiration and insight.
I think you should take out the sentence highlighted in red, or add something to introduce it because it seems a bit out of place and random. The blue seemed a bit redundant to me, so I would suggest taking out one or the other, or maybe even try combining them together.
Overall, I think its a pretty good essay. I really like the idea of each place teaching you a life lesson. Just read over it a few times and eliminate some of the wordy-ness.
& I'd appreciate it if you could take a look at mine! :)
if it weren't for my moves , I would never have attained this
Idk but it feels like a weak noun to use. try "travels" or something to like that.
It was here that I learned
should it be here or there? or are those two words inerchangeable? i feel "there" sounds better.
Finally, we come to Ellicott City
use past tense.
overall i really liked this essay. It provides great insight on whats ur passion, how you discovered it, and how multidimensional you are.
