'very close to my family' - personal statement prompt two for ucs

I am very close to my family, especially after all that we have gone through together. The past three years have been very hard for both my family and I. In the years 2008 and 2010, I lost two of my cousins due to cancer. Seeingin the hospital, struggling to live, made me lose faith and motivation. I found it so unfair that such beautiful young human beings had to go through this. I began to slack off in school; I began to fail exams, like never before. I saw life as bleak and unfair and didn't really see a point to it. The loss of my 21 year old and 10 yr old cousin highly impacted me. I was very close to both of them, and not having them a part of this world made me very sad. Life without them was definitely different. In the midst of feeling emotionally morbid, I thought of my grandfather and thought how no matter what, he always kept going, never giving up. Although it was nearly impossible to do this, especially with finals on the way, I achieved it. Having him in my mind helped me become persistent and optimistic. I also turned to God for help along with my parents. With their support, I was able to rise up and do well in school.

The past three years have been very difficult for both my family and I.

In the years 2008 and 2010, I lost two of my cousins, due to cancer.

Seeing them in the hospital, struggling to live, made me lose faith and motivation.

I saw life as bleak and unfair and didn't really see a point to it. The loss of my 21 year old and 10 yr old cousin highly impacted me. I was very close to both of them, and not having them a part of this world made me very sad. Life without them was definitely different. ---I think you should rearrange the essay with this part coming right after the third sentence.

I think your essay would be even better, if you tell a little more about your grandfather. Good luck with school.
I'm very sorry about your cousins.