I'm applying for stanford university. Help please:)
I had no idea that a place this remarkable, this extraordinary was capable of being created. Inconceivable, seemingly infinite architecture plays tricks on your mind. If you take a wrong step, you'll lose your way back to reality. Lights dazzle you dizzy as you enter the infamous Pepsi Center in Denver. Here, everything you worked for balances unsteady on a needle. You can be great, or you can fail in front of 19,000 people. This is your chance to be remembered. This is the Colorado State Wrestling Championship Tournament.
It was my sophomore year, first time on Varsity, and I never thought I'd make it to this point. Only my third year wrestling, I had beaten kids that have wrestled their whole lives. I had achieved my ultimate goal for the season: qualify to compete at the Pepsi Center.
My first year wrestling, one of my coaches said something that has always stuck with me. "When you shoot for a leg to get your takedown," says Coach Tate, "aim 5 feet further than you need to. Your shot will always be deeper than you thought it would." After years of applying this principle, I've learned that this pertains to more than just wrestling.
When you set a goal, always aim way higher than you think you can achieve. You will always come closer to your actual potential. This is how I live my life. Because it was only my first year on varsity, I never thought I would make it to state. My dedication and determination to reach that goal is what got me there. The possibilities are endless when you set a goal beyond your own perceived potential.
For this reason, I want to apply to Stanford University. To apply here is a long shot I'm not afraid to take; I'm not afraid of the academic rigor with incredible opportunities. I believe I can bring many things to your University. As a well-rounded student with a passion for volunteering and being involved, you won't regret adding me to your campus.
I would skip the first paragraph, incorporate the salient points into the next one, add more about your last sentence and delete this I believe I can bring many things to your University. and you won't regret adding me to your campus.
Lights dazzle you dizzy... I think you should move that sentence to the beginning and start with it!!
Inconceivable seemingly infinite patterns of architecture play tricks on...
I had beaten kids that have wrestled throughout their whole lives.
"When you set a goal..." at this part, you should say that someone told you this, and that you remembered it. It will help you to not sound preachy. It is good advice, but don't advise the reader. Say you were told that when you were young.
It'll be great if you can condense it and make room to write about your intellectual and professional aspirations. What kind of expertise do you seek? What use will you make of your Stanford education?
