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"a club called the Celebrations Club" - Elaborate on An Extracurricular Activity

dfdfdf 3 / 5  
Oct 14, 2010   #1
The Common App requires a brief (150 words or less) essay elaborating on an extracurricular or work experience. BE HONEST!

During my freshman year of high school, a few students and I decided to create a club called the Celebrations Club. This club would be open to new freshman in efforts to aid their transition into the daunting four years of high school by helping to keep the entire school in the know of what was going on at the school. We composed a bulletin board listing birthdays, baby announcements, recent achievements or accolades, and anything else noteworthy. We would also sporadically send out complimentary notes or candies to random people, trying to brighten someone's day. As president of this club, I watched the club grow into an asset of the school and received many letters of gratitude from staff and faculty. This club allowed me to put my stamp on my school during my freshman year, easing the anxiety of a new chapter of my life.
ima 2 / 3  
Oct 17, 2010   #2
Generally i believe that short essay of common app must be something similar to yours, not incredibly artistic.
Generally as an outsider i understand that you made something like a wall-newspaper,which spreaded school sprit and love. I think of you as an ethusiastic,always smiling person who jumps around in the school, and you had hard time adjusting the high school.

i can't fix the grammer but i can say 2nd sentence is too long.
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Oct 18, 2010   #3
in-the-know about what was going on at the school.

I would like it if you quoted one of the letters written about it! This has potential to be very impressive. It's great that you took this initiative and did something purely out of interest in making people happy. If you mention how this connects you your career intentions, it will be perfect. Is your intended career in any way similar to a celebrations club?

You can save some words:
In my ninth grade year In my Freshmen year of high school

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