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Coffee or chai tea? Cookies or biscuits? Chicken sandwich or chicken curry?; UVA


need_advice 6 / 21  
Dec 29, 2011   #1
UVA: Describe the world you come from and how that world shaped who you are.
Hi! Shake hands. Satsriakal! Fold hands. Coffee or chai tea? Cookies or biscuits? Chicken sandwich or chicken curry? I've become accustomed to the consequences of the culture clash that is my life. However, I consider my experience with different cultures to be a great advantage over my peers. The foundation of my miniscule universe is my parents and their story. I come from a long line of poor famers that finally ended with my dad when he came to the U.S. and started a small business. He has stressed for years that education is the world's master key. The meaning behind these words is the reason I have the confidence to even submit an application to one of the nation's top universities. I am amongst the few who relentlessly love to work hard because I know that ushers the sweetest success. Throughout my high school career, I cannot even begin to count the number of "all-nighters" I've had, or the hours I stayed after school for extra practice. My home family and school family create the world that has taught me the value of a positive mindset. Watching my seventy year old granddad read my younger brothers' school books in an attempt to become literate in English inspired me to become literate in my native language, Punjabi. With over forty complicated letters and symbols, I had given up on trying to read years ago. However, I figured that if my granddad could teach himself English than I could learn to write in Punjabi too, and by some miracle I learned in just four days. My world and my background has inspired me to dream great dreams but accomplish greater.

ujax 4 / 15  
Dec 29, 2011   #2
I like how you gave it a personal touch. It really "shows" more than it "tells" and describes the culture clash you experienced. The meaning behind these words is the reason I have the confidence to even submit an application to one of the nation's top universities seems a little unnecessary.
OP need_advice 6 / 21  
Dec 29, 2011   #3
Thanks so much for the advice! What if I replaced that sentence with... . My adherence to these words led me to the Health Science Specialty Center in high school and will indubitably lead me towards major accomplishments in college. I am amongst the few who relentlessly love to work hard because I know that ushers the sweetest success.
ujax 4 / 15  
Dec 30, 2011   #4
Don't say I am amongst the few...a little pretentious...say that you love to work hard not just because you will be successful but because you have a passion and ambition for your field. Otherwise, really well done essay. good luck :)


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