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Colgate supp to get to know you beyond what is defined in your scholastic and extracurricular record


baubau 4 / 11  
Jan 7, 2009   #1
Please leave a comment :))

Please use this brief essay to help us get to know you beyond what is defined in your scholastic and extracurricular record. In 250 words or less, please respond to the following: What has been the most meaningful piece of advice you have ever received? Who gave you this advice and in what way(s) have you put it to use?

"The first try is never perfect. Just make sure that next time, you will make the best tea ever!"

With a face resembling a goldfish, the twelve- year- old me stared bewilderedly as my grandmother smiled and soothingly drank the tea I made for her. The first time I had completed the complicated processes of making Vietnamese tea, I had my grandmother, a tea-addict, compliment on my accomplishment. I would have felt like the luckiest person, if it had not been for the fact that my tea tasted like nothing but water.

As realization gradually dawned on me, a mixed wave of confidence and determination filled my heart. One cup of tea, one new lesson to learn. My grandmother's advice has influenced me deeply throughout the years, and deliberately prevented any thought of giving up from entering my mind. The seventeen- year- old me is fully aware that the first failure is not only a guarantee, but a motivation for me to charge forward and conquer a higher goal as well. Forget the consequences, because it is all about taking a step outside, challenging my own will and squinting at the norms.

The goldfish version of me continues to gasp, marveling at my own ability to stand up. Apparently, failure is made specifically for the purpose of testing human's inner strength. And somewhere in my heart, my grandmother's advice lies in a special place, proud of its success in guiding me through the most difficult times
EF_Constance - / 143  
Jan 7, 2009   #2
With a face resembling a goldfish, the twelve year old me stared bewilderedly as my grandmother smiled and soothingly drank the tea I made for her.

As realization gradually dawned on me, a mixed wave of confidence and determination filled my heart. One cup of tea, one new lesson to learn (IS THIS THE ADVICE FROM HER? I WOULD PUT IT IN QUOTATION MARKS IF IT IS.).

The seventeen year old me is fully aware that the first failure is not only a guarantee, but a motivation for me to charge forward and conquer a higher goal as well. Forget the consequences, because it is all about taking a step outside, challenging my own will and squinting at the norms.

AndSomewhere in my heart, my grandmother's advice lies in a special place, proud of its success in guiding me through the most difficult times.

Good job! Very descriptive, but not my suggestions! GOOD LUCK!
OP baubau 4 / 11  
Jan 8, 2009   #3
Thanks for the comments!!!!
The "one cup of tea " sentence is not the advice from her. I just put it there to somehow in reference to my interest in tea, do you think it's not necessary?

And the advice is basically like Dont let the first failure drag you down^^
EF_Constance - / 143  
Jan 8, 2009   #4
I would take it out. I would input her advice. Maybe put it at the top of the essay, centered, and alone.
EF_Sean 6 / 3,491  
Jan 8, 2009   #5
You might also want to elaborate on how the experience changed your attitude about failure. At the moment, you just sort of say that you resolved to learn and improve from your experience, without really telling the reader what it was about this specific incident that had such a strong impact on you.


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