My mother use to tell me that I will meet many different people in life and that I will have to learn to work with them. Most of my life I had always been around people who had similar ideas and beliefs as me, or so I thought. Growing up meant changing and finding who I was both spiritually and personally. It wasn't until junior high that my ideas started to dramatically change. That's when I figured out that the people I once thought I connected with in some ways, were on the other end of the spectrum. High school made my spectrum even wider, showing the conflicting beliefs, ideas, and circumstances that were once hidden by innocence and suppression.
In high school, I met many people who had conflicting life styles with mine. Cosmetology put me to work with people who were completely different from me. Being placed in a room for nine hours with different girls who you've never met puts a strain on who you are. I was changing who I was to fit in with these people. Everything was flipped on me because I had different morals and beliefs than most of the girls in the class.
Mostly everyone in my class enjoys parties, dancing, and just going out and having fun. Personally, I enjoy staying home, doing productive things, and just hanging out with friends. Initially, I felt very out of the crowd. While the girls in my class would talk about their traditional high school experiences, I could never relate. I was a fish out of water with them, and when they would ask me about my experiences, my answer was always, "I've never done that". I would awkwardly laugh and joke with them, feeling left out and inexperienced. I never felt superior to them, infact, I felt inferior to them. Staying true to myself was important, but it was hard because I knew that they were more experienced in what they were talking about.
After a while, I came to the understanding that they didn't care about what I have and haven't done, as long as I was true to myself and was polite. Their acceptance was all I wanted, but they had given it to me from the very beginning. My feelings were altered because no longer was I feeling inferior to them. It was just them telling me about their life. I knew they meant no harm by doing it, and it was nothing to feel bad about. The stories they told me were to amuse me, not make me feel bad about myself.
Being in cosmetology made me understand that differences in experiences are normal, and that I can't expect everyone to have done the same things as I have. Everyone does different things with their lives, and it shouldn't affect my feelings. Acceptance and love should be given to everyone, even if they are completely different from me.
Mary, it would help us a lot if you post the prompt of the essay you are responding too, this way we will be able to see if the essay answered the prompt properly or if the transition is good, etc., anyhow, let me help you with grammar and the overall essay presentation.
- ideas started to dramatically change dramatically .
- High school made my spectrumcreated an even wider horizon ,
- In high school, I met many people who had conflicting life styles with mine.
- ( Mary, before jumping to the "cosmetology" subject, make a connection between the sentences.
I engage myself in Cosmetology and it put me to work
- Everything was flipped on me because I had
- Mostly everyoneof the students in my class enjoys parties,
- I was a fish out of water with them , and when
- My feelings were altered because no longer wasI was no longerI feeling inferior to them.
- It was just them telling mea very warm conversation about their life.
- The stories they told me were meant to amuse me,
- Everyone does different things within their lives,
- to everyone, even if they are completely different from meregardless of anything .
Mary, this are my direct corrections on your essay, mind the connections of your sentences as this will definitely make or break your essay, this will also determine the flow of your essay and how the readers look at it.
Sorry, I forgot to put the topic, it is: Describe a setting in which you have collaborated or interacted with people whose experiences and/or beliefs differ from yours. Address your initial feelings, and how those feelings were or were not changed by this experience.
Mary, it's fine to forget things and we feel great that you took our suggestions at heart and follow through.
So what do you think of the suggestions that we have on your essay, I hope the modifications help enhance your essay and make it
a lot stronger than it is.
I hope to read your revision very soon so if there's anything that needs further assistance we will be able to help out.
Oh and if you can inject maybe one quote or a couple that either you live by or will boost the essay,
maybe something that has to do with the prompt, having said that, I believe your essay corresponds properly with the prompt.
You were able to provide what is asked and justified it accordingly.
The guidance that we provide here on EF is very unique in such a way that we personally address your concerns on your writing pieces and I hope this transpired in the modification and suggestions we made on your essay.
