"Explain your interest in the major you selected. Describe an experience related to that area of study, what first introduced you to this field, and/or your future career goals. Limit your response to 300-400 words." This is the title of requirement essay. Please give me any advice!!
Having transferred to many schools when I was young, accepting new environment was not difficult for me at all. I loved to experience new thing and making new friends. However, it was not the case when I moved to Canada at the age of 12. I had difficulty dealing with Chinese student at there; because of the historical back ground that Japan and China has. They rarely talked to me and they did not involve me to the group. At first, I did not know what to do. I could not speak English at all, so I could not express myself there or communicate with them. However, I thought that I have to make some changes by myself in order to get along with new school, so I started to change my behavior. I tried to talk even with my poor English. I joined many activities such as school band, basketball team, volleyball team and even chess club. As I changed my attitude, the way people treat me also changed. They gradually accepted me, and try to talk to me even I could understand only about 30% of what they were saying. And it was that time that I started to dream of working at United Nations. After having this experience, I thought that I want be a connecter between minority and other, and thought that United Nation would be a best place to archive what I want. So I made up my mind to go to American university and study global studies, while all of my other friends are trying hard for the entrance examination of Japanese university. I thought that at American university, I could both improve my knowledge of global studies more and my language ability. To me, University of Illinois at Urbana Champaign provides a great opportunity to learn what I want and come in touch with diversity, and will lead to the dream of United Nation.
Kazu, what you wrote did not reflect the prompt requirements at all. Rather than presenting the development of your interest in your chosen major, you instead presented a background story for yourself. I did not see any reference to an experience that is related to your field of study. You only spoke of your difficulties in acclimatizing yourself to your new environment. So you cannot use this essay as the response to the prompt. A new one has to be drafted that is closer in content to the requirements of the instructions.
There are a number of things that you need to have represented in your responses based upon the original instructions you were given for the essay development. So the essay should have the following discussion in it:
1. Indicate the major that you have selected for yourself. Make sure that you don't just tell the reviewer what the major you chose is. You need to also develop the foundation for your interest in this field. For example, if you want to go to culinary school, you should talk about your early memories of food preparation in your house and watching people prepare the meals.
2. Your second paragraph has to contain an explanation of how and why you feel like this is the proper college field for you to delve in for studies. Normally, this is best represented by a personal experience or exposure to the field that further helped you familiarize yourself with the occupation or field of work that you were introduced to early in life. Make sure that you highlight the reasons why your interest in the field was further developed.
3. As a final paragraph, make sure to represent your future career goals. These are normally represented by your immediate plans upon graduation and your possible potential to seek admission to a masters level program in the future. Show that you do not plan to stagnate and remain in this basic field for long. Show the reviewer that finishing college is merely the start of your dreams, not the end of it.
- I loved to experience new things and makingmake new friends.
- I had difficulty dealing with Chinese studentsat there; because of
- the historical background ( "background" is one word) that Japan and China hashave .
- so I could not express myself there or communicate with them.
- AfterH aving this experience,
- I thought that I want be a connecterconnection between minority and other,
- and thought that United Nation would be athe best place to archive what I want.
- So I made up my mind to go to American university and study global studies,
Kazu, kindly find my corrections above, I believe your essay can be better with the corrections done, I understand that English is
not your first language and having said that, you did a good job in coming up with this essay. Good luck!
