1.In the space provided below, please elaborate on one of your activities (extracurricular, personal activities, or work experience) (150 words or fewer).
I'm a collector. But instead of stamps, cards or models, I collect birthdays of my friends. This seemingly intricate habit was firstly developed in elementary school, when I was hoping to prove a theory posed in maths class that every day of common year has equal chance to be one's birthday. However, as my collection booming, the experiment seemed to be less important than the birthdays themselves. It's fascinating to think of that every group of numbers stands for a real person, or more than that, a bonding and future of a family. Each time when a friend's name appears on my calendar, I would always wait until midnight to give him/her a big surprise. At those very moments, whether we are of affinity or alienation, I can retrieve the best time with him/her and appreciate sincerely for those once belonged to me, the top time, the treasure recollections Believing that "every one lives in the memory of others", I want to be the one who remembers most. More than collections, what I'm doing is to depict my life in another form.
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Is the response well fit the question? I'm not sure if it's effective....
Please, any suggestions. Thx a million! ^^
Your second to last sentence is very confusing. I get what you mean by affinity or alienation but maybe not the best word choice. I think you mean appreciate "them" sincerely, and the treasure"d" recollections. The "top time" seems like it just confuses the sentence.
Good overall though.
kleinhenz
Thx. I'm not a native speaker thus i have little sense about what sounds "right"...writing these makes me sick :P...sigh...you are right, thx again !!
Xue,
It's good,but there are grammar issues which need to be adressed:
e.g.However, as my collection booming, the experiment seemed to be less important than the birthdays themselves. (As my collection BOOMED).Furthermore"boomed" is not sounding right in this context.Maybe "grew" would be a more durable substitute.
- More than collections, what I'm doing is to depict my life in another form.
(this sentence is meaningless...make it simpler so as to achieve clarity.)
There are several more confucing or meaningless sentences.The idea is unique,but your command of english is stifling that idea.Thoroughly revise your use of english so that the true meaning of what you are trying to say comes out clearly.
simbamaxxed
Thank you soooooooooooooo much!
You got the point...my poor English...i'm struggling...
Thanks again! i'll revise it with my English teacher...
Xue,
English is not my first language either,but there are several things you can do to improve your command of English,which you could try if you like.For example:
-Read,read and read some more english books.Novels could be a good idea as they teach you different styles of writing and how to convey a story.
-Watch english language films.
-Keep a journal/diary and record your thoughts in english.You'll be surprised at how this can improve your language skills.
-Study the dictionary.I know this sounds crazy,but it really helped me master vocabulary and subsequently use it appropriately.
-Speak,and even try to 'think' in english,not your native language.It helps!
simbamaxxed
Oh! Extra Gifts!
I would take them into practice...as i'm not so busy now than before.
I appreciate your suggestions a lot! ^^
