What influenced you the most in your decision to apply to CMC? Please limit your response to no more than 200 words.
Above all, I view my college experience as my defining years to build myself a new identity and voice in the world. As I seek an environment where I can be challenged intellectually and be given grounds for tactile change, CMC appealed to me for its proven ability to mould students into responsible citizens and trailblazers in the fields of my intellectual curiosities such as Environmental Analysis. The environment is a major issue, more so in developing countries. Thus, the real importance of the subject, together with CMC's distinctive broad-based curriculum and research opportunities makes it all the more exemplary to me as someone who ultimately aspires to influence their home country's environmental governance.
Your essay so far is ok. Aside from a few grammatical issues, this essay will neither help or hurt your chances of admissions. If you really want this short essay to be impactful in a positive way, you need to provide solid examples. Simply stating that CMC helps curious trailblazers is not demonstrating to the admissions committee that you have done your homework and research about the school. - selective admissions
Thank you for your kind feedback! I will be sure to improve on it. May I ask, which were the specific grammar issues?