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Personal Essay _ College Application - lessons from challenges, setbacks or failures


Xavier26 1 / -  
Dec 22, 2017   #1
The essay promt:
******The lessons we take from obstacles we encounter can be fundamental to later success. Recount a time when you faced a challenge, setback, or failure. How did it affect you, and what did you learn from the experience?******

I'm eager to achieve more



" just like my dream to join Skidmore college that I wish to make it a reality soon.Just wait half an hour, boy, and your work will be done," said the blacksmith, swinging his hammer and satisfied with his simple life, work and most of all the running time. The man didn't know that my prevalent problem now was time. My group and I were already late 20 minutes for our round at the competition. We reached that blacksmith's workshop rushing from the university where the competition was held. As the wheels axes decided to make it a surprise for us to get broken just before the showtime. That university was 10 miles far from the workshop. I carried our robot with two wrecked wheels and a punch of hanging wires to the nearest workshop where I can solve this situation and prevent an unpleasant end for 5 months of work.

The competition was "Minesweepers" international competition, and the winners were us. We could, in a mysterious way, fix the robot and return to the minefield - simulated minefield of course - and we got nearly a perfect score. Our names were announced on the stage and we were qualified to the finals in Malaysia. It was a moment of surprise, exhilaration, and success, and life had taught me that these peeks of happiness always come after long depressive botches. I didn't forget these failures, and I'll never do. Time does offer us some lessons to learn from, but not to forget.

I left the stage of recognition with my thoughts till I glimpsed myself sitting on my desk at another university and attending the qualifications of the (EBO) Egyptian Biology Olympiad watching the time passes again, that non-stop enemy. I remembered how I was eager to win, be the first on the rank and represent Egypt at the international finals. But it's all from the past, I couldn't get what I dreamt of. I got an advanced place. The first of who participated from my school but still not what I had dreamt of.

The clapping of the audience retained my conscious again, but my eyes were trapped by the logo of the competition, a sickle taking out landmines. These mines that we didn't touch the year before. We participated in the last year competition and not just the wheels that time. The circuits, wires, boards even some useless banners melted because the battery just decided to get mad and gave extra ampere that destroyed the circuit.

These reminiscences didn't spark in my mind just to initiate the feelings of magnificence and happiness in my spirit. It was a reminder of a change of thoughts in my life. A year ago, I admit that I was very afraid of losing and consequently trying any new experience. Afraid of being beaten by the time that passes without achieving my dreams. But after these experiences, I widened my eyes, extended my limits (till I explore them myself), and -most importantly- realized that satisfaction is the ultimate quest for life. It is more important than success, fame, and glory. It is what we live to reach, to be satisfied by what we did and what we wish to do.

A new day has begun, but with a different start. I woke up in Malaysia, a different view entirely not just for nature but for life too. I enjoyed the rain and the Twin-Tower of Kuala-Lumpur. I considered this visit a deserved end for the work of the five months. We represented Egypt honorably and won the third place internationally with a special award for the best mechanical design. But unlike the blacksmith, I couldn't wait anymore. I returned to Egypt to continue my life unsatisfied with what I had achieved.I'm eager to achieve more with the company of time that enables us to reach our dreams and make it as real as life itself.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,767 4770  
Dec 22, 2017   #2
Seif , you need to create a more understandable essay. This essay doesn't really portray a proper setback, failure or challenge because of the way that the story jumps around from one situation to the next. Also, you won in the competitions. You may not have gotten the winning position you wanted but a win is still a win, regardless of position. What you have to understand is that this essay requires you to show a lesson learned. Something that is not really portrayed in this presentation. The reviewer needs to understand how you handle failure. Does a total failure, without winning any consolation prize, result in you becoming a more driven person, or does it turn you into a quitter? You have to choose a story that shows a point in your life when you failed miserably and thought you would never get over it. How did you use that failure to inspire you towards future success? That is what this prompt expects to learn about you. This prompt interviews you regarding your mindset when it comes to obstacles that can prevent you from succeeding in college. Try to think about your biggest failures as a high school student and discuss how you overcame that. It should work as a better response than what you have at the moment.


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