Unanswered [0] / Urgent [0] / SERVICES
 DrAfT!
Home / Undergraduate   8

College Green; Brown U - TRANSFER - Neuroscience


Feb 24, 2013   #1
Here is my Brown supplement in full. Please tell me what you think of it. I am hoping to submit it in the next few days. Thank you!

Please tell us more about your interest in transferring: Why does Brown appeal to you as a college option? Who or what has influenced your decision to apply?

"What did you think of this one, Lex?" My mother would expectantly inquire after every campus visit.

I would pause and list positive attributes about the college, but ultimately I always gave the same reply, "It's okay, but it's just not the one."

But when I stepped onto the College Green, I knew that something was different. I looked on as students played Frisbee and read under the elm trees, and it just clicked. I saw a place where I could thrive and mature personally because of the broad range of student diversity. I could learn for the sake of learning and I could foster my intellectual curiosity without any constraints through the open curriculum. I saw myself joining a lab, a sorority, and CareFree Clinic; perhaps even creating a pre-vet club on campus. Something about the individualistic, intellectual, and accepting atmosphere immediately and inexorably drew me in. But more than that, it was the intangible feeling that I belonged.

Brown is the one.

Describe what academic field(s) you wish to pursue at Brown, how you came upon that interest, and any post-graduation career plans you may have considered.

On the first day of my chemistry of emotion course, the professor posed a series of questions to the class: Why do you have an affinity for certain academic areas? Why do you think in a specific way? Does your brain shape you, or do you shape your brain? Who is in charge, you or your brain? I latched onto these questions and turned them over in my mind - or I suppose my frontal lobe - for hours. As I contemplated these questions and read more on the topic, I found myself looking at the world from a new perspective - a perspective from which I recognized the value and importance of even the most basic functions in the brain. [...]

Feb 24, 2013   #2
On the first day of my chemistry of emotion course, the professor posed a series of questions to the class: Why do you have an affinity for certain academic areas? Why do you think in a specific way? Does your brain shape you, or do you shape your brain? Who is in charge, you or your brain? I latched onto these questions and turned them over in my mind - or I suppose my frontal lobe - for hours. As I contemplated these questions and read more on the topic, I found myself looking at the world from a new perspective - a perspective from which I recognized the value and importance of even the most basic functions in the brain. The starting method is good and capturing however towards the end of the paragraph you can be more expressive on how you captured the questions into your desire to learn more about it and how you thought the curiosity aroused in you would take you to?..

One hundred billion neurons make up the brain. Each cell connects to approximately ten thousand neighboring neurons, meaning a cubic centimeter of brain tissue has more neural connections than there are stars in the Milky Way galaxy. The brain processes and responds to billions of signals every second. Our genes and our individual experiences shape the brain, creating new and unique pathways. Neuroscience is an interdisciplinary field that seeks to understand what makes our brains so beautifully complex, and ultimately to understand what makes us human. . I think there is no need of elaborating this..It will be astonishing and mesmerising to you how the neurocognitive process and its signal paths are working, but not to the ones who knows about it very well. What they need to know 1. what specific aspect of neuroscience made you interested? 2. Why did that make an interest in you? 3. How is that interest connected to your passion (what do you desire to achieve? 4. How do you find apart from the interest thing, will make you a good candidate for this (what did you do upto now to follow your interests? 5. What are your skills, accomplishments, awards, challenges etc?

From modeling neuroplasticity to human cognition, every topic within neuroscience fascinates me. The variety of courses and research opportunities within the neuroscience program makes Brown University the ideal place to purse my studies. I would broaden and explore my understanding of the topic through courses on sleep and chronobiology research, neurochemistry and behavior, and computational neuroscience. Additionally, I would use the resources available to me at Brown and combine my knowledge gleaned in the classroom with practical applications in the lab. I would indulge my curiosity and desire to better understand humanity researching with the Brain Health Initiative on basic mechanisms of neurological disorders at the Brown Institute for Brain Sciences or with Professor Patrick on the influence of neurotransmitter activity on behavior. Many of these statements are repetitive on your same interest. Refine it..

Furthermore, the prospect of sculpting my education among a community of self-motivated learners at Brown exhilarates me. The open curriculum would enhance my education by enabling my individual and varied passions to guide my education. I intend to enroll in courses throughout the sciences, social sciences, and humanities, to enrich my understanding of the world from an interdisciplinary perspective. Brown offers a number of classes that I just feel inclined to take, like Comparative Animal Physiology, Human Trafficking, Uncomfortable Media, and Ancient Egyptian Religion and Magic, simply for the sake of learning and developing all of my interests to the fullest extent I can in only three years.

Although the typical track for a neuroscience major is graduate school or medical school, I intend to apply to veterinary school. Brown University has outstanding resources for pre-veterinary students including the ability to volunteer at the Animal Care Facility linked to Brown that cares for the animals used for studies at the university and medical school, as well as local veterinary hospitals such as the Providence River Animal Hospital.


These are just okay statements if are to be considered for just an admission. But in the context of applying for a scholarship or special merits.. these are inadequate. So it would depend on the requirements.
Feb 24, 2013   #3
I'm applying for undergraduate admission to Brown. I'm fairly certain that the people reading this application do not know a terribly large amount about neuroscience. What about my essay makes it inadequate? You give some suggestions about how to improve the second paragraph, but that's really all.
I really like you rfirst short essay. I like you mention "student playing frisbee" as you describe the lively campus life without saying out explicit;y. Maybe you can use the same tone to describe the academic passion and focus of the student body.

Please also help my cornell essay :)
May 12, 2013   #7
Yes. I was admitted to NYU Gallatin and will hopefully be hearing back from Wesleyan, Hopkins, and Swarthmore shortly. Of course I am very hopeful that I will be admitted off the waitlist at Brown!


Home / Undergraduate / College Green; Brown U - TRANSFER - Neuroscience