College Essay: What inspired you to apply to Union? (Limit: 150 words)

Union University was not very exceptional to me, till I have gone for further details.

I am obsessed with your unique academic programs and the researching options; It is such a grace working side by side with the professors and using this 20-inch optical telescope. The virtual tour of facilities like Minerva and centers like Becker assured satisfying what I am searching for, for the upcoming four years and even after.

The diverse environment, the affiliation with NASA and the student activities Union has is typically what I need for educating my mind, body, and spirit. Without any doubt, I can say that Union is the perfect place for me after settling down on the top of my 63 colleges list. Union is capable of offering what's required for making the world a better place. I believe, Union will union the students all over the map.

Please help me making this perfect cause my deadline is tomorrow and I'm so worried.
Thanks a lot.

Ehab, sorry to burst your bubble but this 150 word statement doesn't work. It is rushed, does not show any keen interest in the university, and makes it appear that you practically didn't do any research on the special offerings and uniqueness of the university. First up, you need to clearly indicate that your interest in the academic side of the university is purely related to the fact that most of their graduates tend to end up working for NASA. That is the cornerstone of all your applications and should be mentioned as often as possible in this case because you are looking to enter into a specialized field. As such, the reasons you want to apply at Union should reflect your fervent desire to use the university to get into NASA. That means mentioning any classes you can take or programs that you can participate in which have a direct hand in your future career. Think classes in Engineering that will be a stepping stone towards your end game. Talk about the internship programs that might land you a spot learning directly from NASA in the future. Those are the kinds of reasons that would strongly serve as your inspiration to apply at Union. This is just my opinion on your essay. If you feel that you have work done on your current version, then take my opinion as just that, mere suggestions that you may choose not to implement.

@Holt
Believe me, I've done a lot of research but I couldn't find a lot of interesting or special information at all.
I would be grateful if I am wrong. please check again and tell me if there's anything I need to reconsider.
union.edu/

There are a number of discussion points that you can consider for this statement. The first is the liberal arts education offered by the university. There are 21 departments at the university for you to choose your major from. You would be attending the Engineering department right? Mention that major in the response. Then discuss how you were inspired to apply because of the fact that you can have interdepartmental majors, as well as self-designed organizing theme majors. As a future NASA scientist, you would definitely be interested in learning foreign languages at the university because of the potential for you to be assigned to the international space station. Aside from those unique points, you have to figure out what makes their engineering department special and then use that to close the essay. These are some topics that you can consider for your response.

Take out the part about Union being along your top 63 colleges. You don't want the reviewer to think you used an online poll or losing to help you choose a school for college. He doesn't need to know that anyway. Clarify the portion about the telescope. What is it called and why would it be considered an honor for you to use it? You mentioned working alongside the Union professors. Name a few of them you are interested to work with. You can even opt to present an idea of becoming the professor's assistant if given the opportunity to do so. Double check your punctuation. You seem to have missed out on a few period placements in your response. I fully expect your essay response to be ready after you apply these changes and you double check for your grammar errors.