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'College life / Cortland apple' - Transfer Essays


cielov 1 / 3  
Nov 24, 2008   #1
Prompt #1:
What is your intended major? Discuss how your interest in the subject developed and describe any experience you have had in the field such as volunteer work, internships and employment, participation in student organizations and activities and what you have gained from your involvement


Five...four...three...two...one...Welcome to college-life!
I was thrilled and nervous as I walked to my Chemistry discussion, my very first university class. There were ten of us in total in that class; it is a small class to tell you the truth. Erik Olstad, our teacher, came in late and he did the attendance later on. Next, he asked what we had done over the summer and after asked what our majors were. Biology, Engineering, Cognitive-Science, Psychology, Physics, Management, and History were mentioned before me. As the question came to me, I hesitated to say Human Biology; instead I said "undeclared." I had claimed it as my major because I haven't found the key to open the box where my major really lies. That day ended so quickly that I didn't realize that my classes were over.

I am a brand-less product - that's what I was thinking as I lay down on my bed. I am classified as Human Biology but not labeled since I haven't obtained it yet. Still, I am seeking which company fits me the most. I came to university to obtain an identification that I can carry till death. I need a university that offers a wide selection of courses such as Music and Arts, Journalism and Communication, Microbiology, and Hydrology because these majors are the ones that give color in this sphere. I play the piano for its excellent harmony, I photograph to capture images that my mind can't perceive, I blog to keep memories that my brain can't retain, I socialize to interact with people around the world, and I wanted to do research on bacteria.

I am a brand-less product surrounded by famous brand-names such as Engineering and Psychology. I am brand-less because I want to major in Human Biology and minor in Music but how can I obtain both if the institute I'm in doesn't offer the other? A normal product carries only one brand-name but I don't want to be an item that has the same name as the others, I want to attain two brand-names so I can live in our sphere without any regrets.

College is the place where I can understand what my mind is capable of doing, however, It takes time to decide, seconds to talk, hours to solve, days to accomplish, and years to be labeled but I am positive that this university can help me to achieve my goals in matter of years. I am brand-less and longing for a university where I can achieve this ambition from obtaining two majors. I am classified but I need to be labeled to live in this world.

Prompt #2:
Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud and how does it relate to the person you are?


Three objects that indicate my personality, a Cortland apple, a pearl, a pair of glasses. Of course I don't intend to show that I am an apple shape, a rotten apple lying on the ground, an expensive gem or a pair of sunglasses fashionably hung on a woman's chest. Instead, these three things symbolize my potentials and capacities: who I am as a person and what my ability to perceive things in the world is.

First of all, I am a Cortland apple. It reveals enough about me. I love apples such as Mcintosh apple, Fuji apple, Empire apple, Ida Red apple, Northern Spy apple, and Cortland apple. Among them, Cortland apples stand the most for they can only be harvested in the beginning of September. Its paper white flesh meat, juicy, crisp, tart, good drying are the basic characteristics of the fruit. In the same way my loyalty, honesty, obedience, friendly, openness, and kindness are the basic characteristics I obtain as a person. Cortland apple can be eaten as it is, turn it into pie, or make a sauce out of it makes it an all-purpose apple. This all-purpose apple truly has a huge potential that even its sweetness cannot be matched to other apples. Similarly, my versatility of playing with little kids, discussing chemistry and math with my acquaintances, capturing images of random views or sketching graphical designs through Adobe Photoshop cannot be compared to any other. Moreover to that, its redness symbolizes passion, similarly to my passion for being a physician and photographer.

Apple is only a gist of my character, so I add the pearl as another image of myself. Pearl is very white that nobody can see what is on the other side. It's content and potential is hidden in the sphere. It is truly pure and hard to determine what's inside but with a thorough examination will result to understanding the pearl's essence. In the same way, my personality and soul lie within my body. Hence, I should be aware to my knowledge and spirit to achieve all I am capable of accomplishing. If I stay as brave, humble and polite, anything will be possible to obtain. Self-confidence or believing in myself when going through hardships with a new stair to step or following my heart and dream of one day becoming a doctor. The pearl is reminding me to know and believe to what I am capable of doing.

Even though an apple and a pearl indicate majority of who I am, there is still an object missing to complete my character which is my pair of eyeglasses. I have been wearing glasses since I stepped my foot in school. Yet, I do consider this as a blessing from God. Having poor eye sight made me wear eyeglasses. Eyeglasses vary in sizes, styles, and lens thickness; but, it doesn't clearly represent one's physical talents or skills. Specs truly reveal the change of vision and life. When I got my prescription glasses, I saw a whole new side. The ambiguous, vague world that I have been seeing changed and it opened a door for me to see another perspective. Even though I have a vision ailment, I will never let my image of the world to be deformed. Every time I feel that my views are becoming fuzzy, I take my glasses and wear it. Eyeglasses are the road of my perspective and all where I have yet to overcome my fear.

Three things that truly represent myself, a Cortland apple, a pearl, a pair of eyeglasses. To explore the world who constantly strive to be true to herself and a person who travels to see the beauty of the Earth. A Cortland apple, a pearl, a pair of glasses; these materials carry me back to my status quo and inspired to achieve my dreams in this world.

I am just wondering how bad my essay is. I want to ask people if my essay answers the questions, both prompt 1 and 2. I greatly appreciated any feedback.
EF_Team5 - / 1,586  
Nov 25, 2008   #2
Good afternoon :)

I'm not really sure how either of these essays answer their prompt. They are both asking for specific experiences and your transformation in regards to them, and I don't see that in these pieces.

Regards,
Gloria
Moderator, EssayForum.com
OP cielov 1 / 3  
Nov 25, 2008   #3
can you please give me an advice about my essay?
EF_Team5 - / 1,586  
Nov 25, 2008   #4
Good evening :)

As I said before, these prompts want to know about specific instances or occurrences in your life; comparing yourself to an apple doesn't answer that prompt. What experience, volunteer work, internships and employment, or participation in student organizations and activities does being a "brand-less product" explain? What have you gained by being a "brand-less" product?

These pieces don't relate to the questions at all, so figuring out how to adapt them to fit the questions should be your focus.

Regards,
Gloria
Moderator, EssayForum.com
OP cielov 1 / 3  
Nov 25, 2008   #5
Thank you Gloria


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