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College Essay about meeting my dad

tolbertk 1 / 1 1  
Sep 28, 2020   #1

common app essay

This is my essay for the common app. I did this in one night, this is my first draft. I would really appreciate any tips or suggestions. I also need some tips with the conclusion it's not finished yet. Thank you in advance! - Kennedy

Opening the crisp letter from a man I have no memory of with the plastered words " I'm sorry." After 12 years that's all he had to say- " I'm sorry." Why did it take him so long to reach out to me? Left because he couldn't handle a baby fussing, but i mean that's what babies do, they cry. After my first day of high school I received a letter from my father who has the same initials as me. I just stared at the letter, I remember my mom eyeing me, more eager to open it then me. As I ripped open the envelope,two sheets of paper came out. Starting with Dear daughter, and ending with love dad. A wave of emotion overcame me, why was it that i felt empathy for someone i have no memory of. He wanted to meet me.

I spoke to my mom about the letter, she was shocked but happy. I told her about him wanting to meet me, surprisingly she suggested that I do and that I should text him since he gave me his number. Throughout my childhood i was told little to know knowledge of my dad.It never really crossed my mind that that was something i wanted to know.If my father wasn't strong enough to accept that he had a daughter than I wouldn't be weak enough to care. But the reality was that i did care, i wanted to get to know him, i want to know his thoughts, and ideas. I always think that if something ever happened to him, I would feel guilty that I didn't give him a chance.

I reached for my phone, and texted him, It felt as if he was standing right in front of me as we texted back and forth. The text read, " Friday at noon." As I pulled up to chipotle , seeing him through the glass pane window pane sitting, I felt my stomach tighten up, and I couldn't stop shaking my leg. I got out of the car, even though i only saw one picture of him i somehow knew who he was. He was bald, slim, with a grey hoodie on. I walked up to him, and an endless staring contrast seemed to begin. We both started as if we weren't real, as if this isn't happening. He broke the silence with a warm embrace. The smell of his sweet cologne filled the air, I cried, this is my dad. For the little time I spent with him I loved him. I met a person who had the same love of books as me...

This experience with my father taught me that everyone has to make decisions, to do what is best in that moment and time, and live with those consequences. I could have just disregarded everything, and said no to meeting him, but I didn't make that decision.

I've matured in thinking because of this experience.

Holt [Contributor] - / 9,735 3072  
Sep 28, 2020   #2
Well this story really gets the reviewer into a part of your life that the other prompts may not have allowed for. I am guessing that you wrote this essay in response to to the background prompt? It is really engaging to read this story. It helps the reviewer get to know your background, the circumstances under which you were raised, and how certain events in your life have helped you develop a maturity that shows a readiness to face the unexpected and make independent decisions which you own up to. I wish though, that you had a longer discussion regarding how this experience changed you. The backstory is interesting, but you allotted too much time to that discussion, almost making the actual purpose of the essay an after thought. Revise the essay to allow you to better discuss your development based on the series of events leading up to meeting your father. It should help the essay come full circle in the end.

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