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College Rap on "Perseverance " for UVA, Lemme know what you think?

damo 9 / 36  
Jan 2, 2010   #1
the question what is your favorite word and why
I responded

Rap on "Perseverance "

I never give up, never back down,
Never move an inch when I'm standing my ground;
Perseverance, ya ll already know what it is,
it's how I get mine and he don't get his;
This words my favorite,
Its number one,
Tells a bit about me an how I get things done;
Work my hardest,
Try my best,
Just to be a level above the rest;
Dedication, determination, devotion, and grit,
All synonyms of how I don't quit;

Never will I quit,
At least not soon,
Not till I've got a few houses on the moon,
Lamborghinis on Pluto, Maserati's on Mars,
I'll be sporting Gucci like the rest of the stars.

my way of saying I'll never stop,
Why would I stop with my sight on the top?
U of V will get me there, I will pass, you will drop,
Call me graduated, On the stage, watch me talk.
Giving alum speeches, talking of my reaches
Saying how I was the starter hidden in the bleachers,
All I had to do was try, I already had the features,
You can do it to, an believe me you need ta
Send an app up to Charlottesville, To the U of VA
hellokitty15 1 / 1  
Jan 2, 2010   #2
This is definitely unique, and i could feel the beat in it as i read it. The bottom paragraph was the only part where I struggled getting the beat. But other than that it was fun and made me laugh...in a good way :D

Good Luck!
OP damo 9 / 36  
Jan 2, 2010   #3
Thank you, I'm glad that I'm not the only one who liked it.
ericpark 2 / 9  
Jan 2, 2010   #4
Lol I absolutely loved the second paragraph. I really did find it unique and I think it will catch the Admission officers' eyes

Hope you get in and if you have the time I would be eternally grateful if you can look over my essay:
adllop 2 / 8  
Jan 2, 2010   #5
"Not till I've got a few houses on the moon,
Lamborghinis on Pluto, Maserati's on Mars, "

^ That's absolutely hilarious and shows that you not only have a good sense of humor, but that that you can use that humor cleverly. Plural of Maserati is simply "Maseratis", get rid of the apostrophe.

Overall, I really like. If I were an admissions rep I would let you in just because you made me laugh. And trust me, when you read hundreds of applications a day that is REALLY important.
klusterfunk 6 / 21  
Feb 1, 2010   #7
Very nice! I could really feel the flow, and the structure ties to a rhythm very nicely.

It's a little materialist to me, and the expressed idea of alum speeches before even getting in turned me off, but I think that's more a difference of philosophy... how I get mine, how he don't get his... know what I mean?

I like the concept though. The reviewers will find it entertaining and unique for sure!

Have you seen other raps going in for applications before?

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