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'College, my second home' - Transfer admissions essay to Stanford


klhardge 1 / 1  
Jul 7, 2012   #1
Provide an essay that addresses your reasons for transferring

As a child, I was forced to see my mother struggle to support my sister and me. I watched my mother work a series of odd jobs that ranged from a cashier at a fast food restaurant to a maid at a motel. I had to watch my mother, the woman that I love so deeply, get treated like she was worthless. Regardless of how tough times became, my mother made it a point to stress the importance of education because she wanted me to have an easier life than she had. When I received my acceptance letters to the University of Mississippi and Spelman College, I was excited but my mother was not because she knew then what I know now. She knew that I would never truly achieve happiness at a university that did not challenge me.

At the end of my freshman year in college, when my peers were celebrating their accomplishments, I felt a sense of emptiness. Although I had great grades and joined clubs, I felt like I had done nothing that truly mattered. It was then that I began thinking about transferring, and it was then that I realized that I was not attending the university that I was meant to attend. Early in my search, I found Stanford University, and I began to fall in love with it. Throughout my research I found that Stanford represented the things that I need. At Stanford, I would be exposed to people who think differently which would greatly expand my view of the world, and I would be intellectually challenged for the first time in years.

As a political science major, I was impressed by the amount of hands-on experience Stanford offers its political science students. I looked forward to the chance to apply to the research honors track within the Department of Political Science because my current university does not offer the opportunity to participate in an honors program that is specifically geared towards my major. I also looked forward to the chance to assist a professor with his research and study abroad at one of Stanford's overseas campuses. Although my reasons for wanting to transfer to Stanford are almost entirely academic, I have two non-academic reasons for my interest in Stanford. I originally chose to attend the University of Mississippi because it felt like my home town. It seemed like it would be a great fit for me, but I now realize that it is not the place for me because it is extremely conservative. Throughout my time at the university, I have rarely come into contact with people who have liberal political ideologies which could impede my development as an objective political science major. The fact that the majority of Stanford undergraduates live on campus was particularly appealing to me because it showed that the students are interconnected and that they form a sense of intimacy with the campus which is something that I would love to be a part of. I do not want to think of college as a place that I have to return to. I want to think of it as my second home, and I would be able to do that if I attended Stanford.

As my transcript shows, I have done well at the University of Mississippi and I am confident that I can meet the academic challenges at Stanford. What my transcript will not show is the fact that my passion for the university is unprecedented. Attending this university would mean that everything I had to go through to get to this point was worth it. I know that Stanford is the place for me because it will allow me to achieve my educational and professional goals while transforming me into a well-rounded, confident person.
ah_zafari [Contributor] 40 / 672 148  
Jul 7, 2012   #2
As a child, I was forced to see my mother struggle to support my sister and me. I watched that my mother had to do very difficult jobsmy motherwork a series of odd job, rangingthat ranged from a cashier at a fast food restaurant to a maid at a motel. I had to watch my mother, thea woman that I love so deeply, get treated like she was worthless.

and I began to fall in love with it

It is not a good sentence because Stanford is not you partner to fall in love with it.

Throughout my research I found that Stanford represented the things that I need.

What do u exactly need?

I looked forward to theget a chance to apply to the research honors track within the Department of Political Science because my current university does not offer thean opportunity to participate in an honors program that is specifically geared towards my major. I also looked forward(use another phrase. for example "seek") to thea chance to assist a professor with his research and study abroad at one of Stanford's overseas campuses.

I think you should work on the organization of the information that you have provided in the essay. I focus on the body. First talk about your educational and professional experiences. Then in the second part of the body connect these experiences to the Stanford University. Why do you want to apply to this university? u can answer this question through two separate paragraphs. In one paragraph write about the academic atmosphere and facilities of the university and in another one talk about campus and other features of the university.

Hope the comments help

Regards
Ahmad
OP klhardge 1 / 1  
Jul 7, 2012   #3
Thanks! I really appreciate your observations!


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