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Why Columbia? Better to ask: Why Core Curriculum?



Metanoia 1 / -  
Oct 23, 2016   #1
The summers following my sophomore and junior year of high school were blessed with the opportunities of visiting New York City and studying at Columbia University under intriguing instructors like Dr. Hung and Dr. Reuther of engineering and Mr. Slutzky of economics. This subtle taste at the life of a Columbia student enamored me with attending school in a metropolis and reaffirmed my desire to attend that resided within me since I visited Morningside Heights as a middle school student. However, while the location of Columbia University within New York is captivating as a college-bound student, it is the overall ideology that shapes the very basis of the education provided at the school that appeals to me the most: the Core Curriculum.

In my opinion, the Core Curriculum provides a holistic education that has been missing in our society since the inculcation that practical adroitness eclipses a developed spirit. The essence of humanity finds itself in rational thought and morality. However, with the emphasis on the importance of an education that solely teaches of developing one's technical ability, there is an inherent failure to address the human aspect of life, underscoring a flaw of mankind and providing insight into the potential root of immoralities in contemporary society.

In spite of this perspective, Columbia University continues to amaze scholars with its devotion to developing students with a broad range of skills and talents. The Core Curriculum sets a precedent for what education should be: a full-body experience that edifies the entirety of the self. Thus, to study at an elite institution whose philosophies regarding education coincide with mine highlights the solidarity that I would feel attending Columbia University in the fall of 2017, thereby galvanizing me to apply.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15238  
Oct 23, 2016   #2
Aris, I think you should reorganize some paragraphs in your essay for better effect. The positioning of your sentences have an impact upon the way that your message is received by the reader. So you have to make sure that your sentences represent a proper flow of discussion. If you rearranged your second and third paragraphs to instead read in the following manner:

with With the emphasis on the importance of an education ... In my opinion, the Core Curriculum PROMOTED BY COLUMBIA UNIVERSITY provides a holistic education ...
Then rearrange the next paragraph this way:
In spite of this perspective, Columbia University continues to ... Columbia University in the fall of 2017, thereby galvanizing me to apply.
You end up discussing the negative first and then closing the essay on a highly positive note. The progression of the discussion also feels more natural as one reads the material.


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