"Why Columbia" essay - prestigious Ivy League reputation and enviable location in New York City

Hi guys, thanks for the providing feedback on my last thread. This is my first draft (I know got to haul ***) of the Why Columbia essay. Please note I only had 300 words to work with.

Prompt: Please tell us what you find most appealing about Columbia and why. (300 words or less)

For any prospective applicant, Columbia University's prestigious Ivy League reputation and enviable location in New York City are no doubt incredibly appealing. However, none of those are my reasons for being so motivated to attend the school. A firm believer in a practical education, I crave the opportunity to apply my knowledge in the context of solving real-world problems. Given how Columbia's strong emphasis on innovation to positively impact society has led to discoveries such as the FM Radio and the optical recognition machine, I am confident the university will offer the perfect environment for me to reach my full potential as an engineer.

Furthermore, I am particularly intrigued by how entrepreneurship is uniquely embedded as a central theme within Columbia Engineering's curriculum. Having been selected to attend Shad Valley - a summer enrichment program in STEM and Business - this past summer, I have already witnessed a preview of the potent integration between engineering innovation and engaged entrepreneurship. Now I am ready to take the next step and join a dynamic community of world-renowned professors and other highly motivated peers driving such kind of integration. For instance, I can already envision myself spending the four best years of my life alongside the brightest minds from across globe and pitching our ideas together at the Columbia Venture Competition.

My determination to constantly improve myself is what comprises my identity. From undertaking the most rigorous schedule in high school to winning at the regional science fair, I have prepared myself well academically. From asserting myself as a leader at school, to serving as a positive influence in my community, I have grown into a person who is passionate about making a difference. Whether it is pursuing my intellectual interests or mentoring high school students in NYC, the possibilities for me at Columbia abound.

Thanks for reading. I anticipate your feedback!

Not bad T.z. Your essay has managed to deliver a unique response regarding your choice of university that does not offer the same template of responses ranging from the location, social atmosphere, clubs, and such that the reviewer no doubt already expects to read in every essay that he comes across. This piece of writing feels like a breath of fresh air in an already redundant environment.

The way that you managed to deliver the response in such a manner that allowed the choice of university to become more about your personal aspirations rather than all about the university is admirable. However, you still need to present a little bit more about the programs that the university offers that made you decide to apply for Columbia admission. Having mentioned one activity already, you should try to present something on the academic side, say in terms of classes attended or internships, or the potential to do some sort of research, which could further enhance this already convincing essay. That way you present solid evidence to support your decision that relates a little to the university as well.