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" Why Columbia? ". Several factors combined.

lethalityKD 4 / 21  
Dec 28, 2011   #1
Original Prompt: Please tell us what you find most appealing about Columbia and why.

My Essay:

Columbia smells of uniqueness. Whether it be its one of a kind core curriculum, its grandiose location in the heart of New York City, the ubiquitous student diversity or its freedom of speech, the university offers its students the best of all worlds.

Columbia's School of Engineering and Applied Science has been known to be amongst the most academically productive in the nation, where excellence is achieved in both teaching and research. The impressive yet rigorous engineering courses taught by the world renowned faculty like Professor Attinger at the SEAS combined with the low student to faculty ratio of 6:1 provide for an unparalleled undergraduate experience. And having already performed research with Electron Microscopes at the CSMCRI, India, I hope to further my endeavors under the shadow of the devoted faculties at Columbia.

The main attraction of the Columbia Carnival is, undoubtedly, its Core curriculum. At Columbia, I will be able to garner a real, priceless education which does not focus itself on producing exceptional engineers, but instead prides itself on cultivating human beings as a whole. Core will be the vehicle through which I will grow, both intellectually and as a better person.

Among all the universities that I considered for undergraduate education, it was only Columbia that made feel at home. Somehow, each and every aspect of the university appeals to my conscience. And only an undergraduate education at Columbia would gratify it.

Any and every criticism is appreciated and welcomed! :))
Thank You in advance :))
music920 6 / 23  
Dec 28, 2011   #2
Very nice! I like your opening sentence. Just a few tips:

-the beginning of your essay summarizes information of the college rather than talking more about why YOU want to go there, so maybe you should make it a little more personal? (You did this in the second part of your essay which was good!)

- "Electron Microscopes" I don't think you need to capitalize the E or the M, unless you'd just shorten it to EM.

- "Core curriculum" I also don't think you need to capitalize core? But I may be wrong

"Core will be the vehicle through which I will grow, both intellectually and as a better person." I really liked this sentence!

Overall great job, and good luck! I visited Columbia this past summer and it was awesome (:
Strawberry78 4 / 52  
Dec 28, 2011   #3
Try not to mention that you considered other colleges. Make your essay consistently seem as if Columbia is your first choice. Change 6:1 to six to one. Try to mention how this school makes you feel. Overall you essay is well crafted. You know a lot about Columbia.
soufianelaouad 3 / 29  
Dec 28, 2011   #4
Discuss the subjects in which you excel or have excelled. To what factors do you attribute your success?
makman09 9 / 86  
Dec 28, 2011   #5
The essay is well crafted. You explain why the university appeals to you without kissing up too much in an eloquent manners that shows you as someone who is intelligent with words.

I think he's just mentioning that university to show that he had experience with engineering there while doing research. It's not going to make him look bad.

I can't find anything else wrong with it. This is a strong essay.

I hoped I helped.
marcusrschmidt 4 / 6  
Dec 28, 2011   #6
Very concise
I enjoyed reading this
You obviously are well informed and know specifically what interests you which i think will convey to the A.O's how passionate you are about Columbia.

Good luck :)
cupnoodle123 15 / 52  
Dec 28, 2011   #7
i think this is okay, but can definitely become a lot better too:) Just work on puttin gin original ideas, original and true feelings about colombia :)

HOpe this hleps, don't mean to be harsh :)
OP lethalityKD 4 / 21  
Dec 28, 2011   #8
Hey Sarah, I was waiting for someone to tear it apart. You've been a great help. Thank you so much :))

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