$$$ Why Columbia University? Short Response $$$

First Draft

Any suggestions? constructive criticism?

The most appealing aspect of Columbia University is the availability of leadership opportunities that take place about the campus. It goes without saying that your core curriculum and diversity in courses and students is highly sought after. With this, there is no doubt you have one of the most diverse, creative, intelligent and passionate student body a college has to offer. Acknowledging this allows me to further appreciate your programs in student development, such as the Emerging Leaders Program. Not only does the Emerging Leaders Program embrace the idea that Columbia students are leaders. It also provides unique skills, leadership assessments and leadership labs to help develop ones leadership ability. I am fascinated by this program which I believe demonstrates how at Columbia, regardless of your achievements, you are encouraged to improve and discover there is never an end to your potential. This resonates with my own belief that there is always room to do better. It also excites me to know at Columbia I can continue to passionately develop my intellect and leadership potential.

You might want to take out It goes without saying that your core curriculum and diversity in courses and students is highly sought after . You might want to use this space to talk about how this school makes you feel. With this, there is no doubt you have one of the most diverse, creative, intelligent and passionate student body a college has to offer. Acknowledging this allows me to further appreciate your programs in student development, such as the Emerging Leaders Program. These two sentences do not really connect with each other. You might want to change that.

Please help on mine. Thank you.

Hello,

As a general rule, if something goes without saying...you shouldn't say it. Your response in this short essay is good. You have managed to research the school enough to find this little known but powerful program. I would suggest that you add more about how this program will help you in your general student life at Columbia. -AAO/express

Hope This Helps