This is a very solid personal statement that clearly defines your character and its strengths and weaknesses. You obviously gave great thought as to how you wanted to present yourself on paper and it came through brilliantly. I spotted some grammatical errors and punctuation errors so I decided to point it out to you. I also tried to enhance some of your sentence for thought clarity. I hope you don't mind :-)
It was the city that I used to think
that it was my whole world,
the people around me were
all strangers and I didn't understand the language
It was frightening
- ...frightening for
I regretted of the
immature decision that I 've made but my parents ' expectation on me were the motivation that helped me overcome everything.
- ... expectations
of me were all the motivation I needed to
Therefore, I carried my braveness and challenged my limits.
- So I told myself that I needed to be brave and challenge myself when it came to my limitations.
I met exchange students and volunteers from all over the world
, we exchanged cultures,
- the world . We
learnt that to communicate with others was not only about the language, more importantly, we need to be sincere.
- I learned that communicating with others required not only being able to speak the same language, but sincerity as well.
To be away from my beloved ones was not easy also and there were time that I felt lonely and sad, but I learnt to be open and share my feelings with the new friends that I made .
- Being away from my loved one was not easy. I felt lonely and sad. But by learning to open myself up to other people, I made friends and experienced other things that helped me overcome my sense of homesickness.
hen, I have chosen to continue my education in the USA in order to explore the world even more.
It was that realization that led me to challenge myself to study in the U.S. This will be another chance to learn and explore another part of my world.
During my exchange year, I have gained life-long experiences and discovered the courageous and adventurous side of me. It wasn't just a year in my life, instead, it's a life in a year.
- If I learned anything else during my exchange year, it was that life-long experiences can only be gained by leaving your comfort zone. Learning is all about adventures, challenges, and courage to try the unknown. This was a new side of myself that I had only begun to discover. This was no longer just a year in my life. It was my life over a year. /
look to UW-Madison for its unparalleled reputation in terms of the quality of students, faculty and education as well as great potential for intellectual growth, challenge and cultivation of leadership qualities .
- I hope to continue my life adventures at UW-Madison because of the university's reputation for friendly students, a caring faculty, and high educational standards. I know that I will be challenged in terms of intellectual growth and my potential as a leader will be further challenged in order to enhance my personal qualities.