My friends thought I was going crazy. When I told them that I have applied for the vacancy in the Discipline Enforcement Deparment of the Students'Union, they joked that it's pure madness. Well, maybe they've got a point. It is the common knowledge that this department is trouble. Students always search for freedom but it enfores them the limitations. Its members have to deal with many situations like threat and flattery. It's never that easy. People were reclutant to join it, especially when they have another choice.The crux of my "masochism" just lied here: I did have many other options due to my good grades and friends.
"Well, you know," I shrugged to my astonished friends, " I love challenges."
Very smoothly I was recruited and started my " supervisor life".
"Good." I smiled at a monitor on the very first day of my job, " Your class got a full score." Then I trotted to another class, looking inside, and someone just caught my eyes.
One of my duties was to check whether every student has worn his student uniform. According to the school's rules, I have the power to take off points from a class for punishment. Now here come a chance to exercise my power. A boy didn't wear his uniform but put it on the desk! However, as a lenient supervisor, I decided I would give him a second chance. Reminders always went first, I thought.
Yet there came a problem. My target was 4 years older than me, he appeared to be a tough brawny boy, and seemed in a really bad mood. More unfortunately, there was no teacher's presence. I looked at myself, tiny and thin. I loved sports--went swimming every summer, jogged in the school's racetrack everyday, but I'm not strong enough to confront with such a frightenning boy! I had heard the rumors of my predecessor that she quitted because of some bullies. Now comes my turn? My heart nearly missed a beat..
Could I avoid this? My lips curved into a bitter smile. I knew I could ignore him, but somehow my sense of responsibility and pride forbade me from doing so. I also realized that if I walk away, I would never have authority again. Having a deep breath, I murmured to myself the saying of ancient Chinese philosopher Mengzi that man suffers before he succeeds. Thinking all the communication skills, I slid to his side and cleared my throat.
" What do you want?" He put down his newspaper and skewed at me impatiently.
I pressed my fear and forced a huge smile "I guess you'd better put on your uniform, buddy."
Unluckily, my "friendly" strategy didn't work. The boy raised an eyebrow, then let out a harsh, threatening sneer " Looking for troubles, are you?" His words had got attention. Everybody looked in our direction. They didn't show too much reaction, neither wanted to back him nor me.
Oh, great, a crowd of apathetic bystanders. I sighed, and turned back.. It's fine, I comforted myself, he wouldn't dare to punch you. So I licked my lips and tried to be light-hearted: " Hey, you're just joking. Right?"
Plan-B failed again. His eyes narrowed with malice: "Yeah, try me, stay and see if I'm joking. Stupid girl." To my fright, he raised his fist and clicked his knuckles.
It felt like my stomach had dissolved. A panic, high-pitched voice shrieked sharply through my heart, telling me to back off, to rush out. For a moment or two, I chose this option, trying to turn my heel. But I simply couldn't move. A strong emotion of responsibility, of honor flooded into my empty head. I can't walk away like that, it's my duty and I ought to perform it, I have to, I thought. It's important to be brave enough to stick to what's right. Yet I certainly didn't enjoy the idea of being punched and having a panda eye! Ordering my mind to work fast, I desperately searched for a way to avoid both.It's like centuries having passed and finally I said in a sweet and sincere voice:
"Well, sir, I've heard that you're such a great gentleman that you always respect ladies."
He didn't respond immediately.
I waited nervously and silently. My heart pounded hard against my ribs, my breath was fast and shallow. Summoning my remaining courage, I stood still, focused my "puppy eyes" on his, got ready to take whatever would come.
Then I felt the tension around us has softened.
"How do you know that?" He drawled and put on his uniform..
Relief softly flowed into my heart; I let out a deep breath and found pride and the sense of accomplishment filled every corner of me. It was a victory, I beamed.
"You always have a reputation for that, Mister." I blinked naughtily.
" Oh , surely I do!" He rolled his eyes, laughed and strode out of the room.
The second day, I saw the boy again. He was wearing his uniform tidily. Upon seeing me, he gave a bright smile, which I happily returned.
Never have I had too many troubles of discipline enforcement again aftewards, I began to love my post more and became even more confident.
Ancient strategist Sun Tzu stated in his " The Art of the War" that the highest level of the war is victory without bleeding. To achieve that, one not only needs persistence and courage, but also skills and wit. From this experience, I believe I've understood it. With proper communication skills I can succeed and get a friend instead of an enemy.
Zhiwei Li
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Can anybody please evaluate it? English is not my first language and I'm not a good writer...Please provide me some tips...really, I guess I need help. Also I guess I need some suggestions on the essay's name. I can't come up with a proper name...
Thanks!
The narrative is good. The language could use some polishing in places. For instance:
"Well, maybe
they had a point." There is no reason to switch tenses here.
"It is
the common knowledge"
"Students always search for freedom but it enforces them the limitations." The "it" is ambiguous, and "enforces them the limitations" makes no sense. I think you mean something along the lines of "Students are constantly searching for freedom and testing the limits of authority, whereas the department is all about imposing and upholding those limits." Or something like that.
"Its members have to deal with
many situations likeboth threat
s and flattery."
It's never that easy.
Again, the pronoun is ambiguous. Revise.
"People were
reluctant to join it, especially when they
had another choice."
"
This was the crux of my masochism: I
did have manyhad plenty of other options due to my good grades and friends."
While your errors are all fairly minor, they are distracting, so fixing up the language throughout will greatly strengthen the essay. Hopefully other contributors will draw your attention to mistakes in other paragraphs.
