Describe a place or environment where you are perfectly content. What do you do or experience there, and why is it meaningful to you?
My heart beats a violent tattoo, hammering against my chest. I turn from left to right, swinging my close fisted arms and feet out into whichever direction my instincts guide me, to defend myself from my opponent. I see him behind me and I lash out with a punch.
Go Ju Ryu karate is where I experience immense fury and passion. This has instilled in me a strong self-evaluative outlook that has helped me explore the twin emotions of rage and content. As I'm punching kicking my opponent, performing strikes correctly, I'm content. I'm smiling. All this time no one's pushed me into karate. I don't have any glorious narrative to tale for my discovery of karate, no shining mentor who has guided the way. I've stumbled upon karate, taken it up of my own free will, and never really looked back.
"Yame. Stop!" roars my Sensei as I finish with a roundhouse kick to my opponent. He's staring at me. Waiting for the master to give the command to attack again. Waiting for the chance to get back at me.
The most comforting aspect about karate training is how I have been able to explore the extent of my fury so infinitely, whilst being able to temper it with a healthy dose of strict discipline. Go. Ju. The characters stand for hard and soft respectively. Perhaps the one which best represented me was 'Ju' or soft. A 5' 2'' ragged teenager with about as much muscle as a bunch of twigs, paired with bad posture and myopia, I had received my fair share of teasing. But when I was in the presence of my sensei and peers, it made no difference. I was a single bolt in a well-oiled machine, wearing the same starchy uniform as the Norwegian girl or the Chinese guy next to me. Our punches and kicks were fully synchronized, with our sensei urging us to strike hard. When it comes time to spar, I do, channeling all my skill it into positive energy. I execute my kicks at top speed, like I'm doing now, with elegance and control. Fury is integral to the art of karate - I'm pouring my passion into the fight, but I'm controlling my emotions from going wayward. I'm getting bruised sometimes - there! He's hit me again. But I know I'm in that immersive environment which allows me to escape from everything else. It's here, while I'm facing my opponent that I'm really mastering my emotions and learning control.
"Hajime. Continue!" screams my Sensei as I prepare myself to block an oncoming left hook. My eyes are pressed tight and I'm waiting rock bodied for the shock waves. But he's anticipated it and my moment of weakness earns me a chop to my ribcage.
Karate has given me more than a black belt. It has opened my eyes to what a healthy environment for learning and self development really is, has given me the passion and indomitable spirit to one day pursue my own path as an instructor. More often than not, society considers the differences between us so pivotal - whether they are in appearance, income, race or academics - in every decision that affects us. Yet we forget our roots, where we come from, what similarities we hold as human beings, as people who can have their emotions run wild. It is in the dojo where these similarities are acknowledged and differences discarded. Where we allow not our prejudices to run wild, but our emotions. Where we learn to control them and find meaning in our successes and our failures. Where we learn to be content. Where I learnt to be content.
I launch into mid air and perform a flying side kick. The sole of my kicking foot aims at my opponent's face as I frown, my sweaty eyebrows furrowed with concentration.
Word Count: 641
I think your essay is really strong, but it's sometimes a bit wordy and you have a few grammatical errors that take away from how good it is.
Here are a few suggestions, grammatical and otherwise:
- "As I'm punching and kicking my opponent, and performing strikes correctly, I'm content."
- "No one pushed me into karate. "
- "The most comforting aspect about karate training is how I have been able to explore the extent of my fury so infinitely while tempering it with a healthy dose of strict discipline.
- "When it comes time to spar, I channel all my skill into positive energy.
You have a great essay overall! Can you take a look at my essays?
